Expedition Private The Urk Expedition: A Chat Between Foxes

Swifttail’s ears sagged, and his shoulders seemed to fold inward at the Minister’s words. Despite the praise, he looked down at his own paws as though he were a scolded kit avoiding his master’s eyes. He nursed another sip of rum before answering, voice quieter now.

"Aye… it was the first." He gave a small shake of his head, ears flicking. "I lost count how many, but I’d never spilled a beast’s blood... Never sent a beast to the dark forest before...Urk."

He shuddered, the memory catching in his throat. "I keep tellin’ meself they were savage, bloodthirsty monsters... That it was us or them. But…" He trailed off, curling his claws against the rim of the crystal glass.

"...It feels… hollow."
 
Talinn carefully listened to the other todd’s feelings, watching his expression carefully. It was a conversation he had hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times over the course of his life, but it was one of the things that he took seriously. The first time that one took a life, and how one felt about it, it should always be regarded with dignity. He let the platinum fox express himself, and then spoke in a surprisingly calm, comforting tone.

“Lift your eyes, son.” He spoke softly, encouraging the young beast, no, soldier now, to look up at him. “This happens to everyone their first time. There’s no shame in it, and never let anybeast say so.”

He paused to catch his breath, and to remember his first kill.

“My first time…I was sixteen, still the equivalent of a squire, still a kit...we were fighting back on Westile Alexei, I, and a small group of retainers still loyal to us. This todd, around my age, came running at me, hoping to end our line and secure his name in the history books with a single swing of his blade. He was not expecting me to parry it, and then end his life with a counter-rispote to the throat.”

Talinn paused, his expression distant for a moment, as if remembering that very moment, before he returned to the room he was in, and he spoke.

“They do not tell you how it feels in the stories, or in the songs. I was so shaken, I could not draw my blade for the rest of the day, even clean it. I was not me anymore, I felt I would never be me again. But then, I woke up, the next morning, and, I was still me. I cleaned the blade, ate, talked, trained...and then I realized, it was me all along, I just did not know.”

He continued.

“You do not need to demonize them, Fairpaws. At the end of the day, it is you, and them, both desperately trying to stay alive, whatever the reasons for the fight are. Neither you nor they had a choice. It was kill or be killed. It is the same in every battle. You want to go home, see your mates, see those you care about...you do what you have to do.”

He let that drag out for a moment.

“You can even feel sorry for them, if that is what you want. I am sure, in their way, they had family, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers. That is why when you kill as a soldier, which you are now, you do it as quickly and painlessly as possible. You did what you had to do, and that is that.”

@Kaii Nashirou @Silvertongue Songfox @SwifttailTheFox
 
Swifttail met the Duke’s gaze again, ears tipped back, but he didn’t look away this time. He rolled the rum in his glass once before speaking.

"With respect, sir… it don’t weigh on me the way it might if they’d been Imperium beasts. The shrews weren’t reasoned. They weren’t fightin’ for anythin’ but blood. I don’t lose sleep over sendin’ them to the Dark Forest."

He gave a faint shake of his head, fur bristling at the memory.

"What does stick with me is how it felt. There were so many, it was like bein’ swallowed whole. I loosed arrow after arrow till my quiver near ran dry, and still they kept comin’. When I tripped and broke me paw, I tried to hold a blade, but by then it was all blur. That’s the part I can’t shake... not the killin’ itself, but how close we all came to bein’ cut down anyway."
 
Internally, Talinn was a bit surprised that the engineer’s mate was handling his first experience killing so well, given his nature, but he supposed it was reasonable enough given the situation that they had found themselves in. The shrews had attacked without provocation and had been vicious little bastards. Self-defense was the lightest burden on one’s conscious, after all, all things considered. Even still, many beasts still found it hard to cope with-perhaps Mr. Fairpaws made of harder stuff than he had given him credit for.

In truth, there is much I do not know about his history, and likely never will.

He gave another firm nod towards Swift, thinking for a bit before he spoke.

“That is the most common experience, especially for beasts who had never served, that anxiety and fear of death, even for those who have had much more experience than you, though they are better at controlling and masking it. There are other feelings that come up as well, and some beasts even feel excitement instead…”

He thought of his youngest daughter for a moment, then forced himself back to the conversation.

“...but overall, fear, rage, stress, panic are the more common ones, especially for newer soldiers. As you fight in more battles, you will handle all of those better. As for the fear of death, that, too, is reasonable. In truth, even with the best armor, the best weapons, and the most favorable conditions, there is always a chance that you will die in battle-it is, ultimately, organized chaos, and while there are things you can do to stack the odds in your favor, an errant arrow, spear, sword thrust, or even a rock could lead to death.”


He paused to catch his breath and think.

“The battle we found ourselves in, however, was on the worse end of things, and most engagements will not be so dire. Still, in Westisle and Fyador, one of the earliest lessons warriors learn is to accept the fact that we are all dying in some way, and thus, to see beauty in the simplest of things in the time we have, from every piece of food you eat, to every moment you share with a friend, to appreciate life in every breath. Now that the battle is over, and that you still live, do that, Mr. Fairpaws, seek solace with your comrades, for they are that now, beasts who you share a battle bond with, enjoy what is it you do in your free time, and, if there is anyone close to your heart, spend time with them. In doing so, those feelings of yours will fade.”

@SwifttailTheFox
 
Swifttail let the Minister’s words linger a while before answering, ears twitching slightly. He tipped back the last sip of rum and set the glass down carefully, as if the weight of it still meant something.

"Aye… easier said than done, sir. But I’ll try. Reckon you’re right... Food tastes better, air feels cleaner, even after breathin’ all that smoke. Makes a beast notice things more than he used to."

His tail gave the faintest wag as he glanced down, almost shy.

"An’ I’ll admit… havin’ mates now, proper comrades, that’s made it easier. Hard times don’t cut as deep when you’re sharin’ ‘em. Even after the fightin’, laughin’ with Finny or workin’ beside Kaii… it helps. It really feels like I belong."

He drew a breath, steadying.

"So aye… I’ll take your words to heart, sir. We came close, but we’re still breathin’. I’ll do my best to make it count."
 
Talinn studied Swifttail intensely as he took in the words, and, when the platinum fox’s tail began to wag and his voice became more steady, he nodded slightly. He had been worried about him, but, it seemed like he was going to be fine, especially with the comfort of his comrades in arms. Ah, to be young again, with such friendships...most of those relationships from his time had died, or, were quite strained. Even his own family relations were...difficult...at the best of times.

But maybe, just maybe, you can become a mentor to these younger beasts. To try to guide them away from your own follies and mistakes.

He let Fairpaws finish up his glass of rum, before speaking once more, tone nostalgic and softer for a moment.

“See to it that you do, Seabeast Fairpaws, see to it to that you do.”


He paused, then gave him a nod.

“If you could send in Silvertongue, we have much to discuss.”

@SwifttailTheFox @Silvertongue Songfox @Kaii Nashirou
 
Swifttail rose, bowing his head politely to the bed-ridden fox.

"Thank ye, sir," he said quietly, his voice carrying both respect and gratitude for the time and counsel.

The sting of Urk still lingered sharp in his chest, but it didn’t feel quite so heavy now. He had comrades to lean on, and he’d be there for them in turn.

He set the empty glass gently on the table, then turned and padded out, easing the door shut behind him. The corridor seemed brighter after the dim hush of the Duke’s quarters.

It didn’t take him long to spot Silvertongue waiting nearby. Swifttail’s ears flicked, and with a faint, weary grin he crossed over.

"He’s all yours, mate," he said, voice carrying a touch of levity despite the tiredness in his eyes. "Says he’s got a lot t’ discuss, but he seems in a fair mood… just worn down. Gates, what he’s been through…"

As he passed, Swifttail lifted a paw to Silvertongue’s shoulder in quiet acknowledgement, giving it a small squeeze before moving off down back to his post in the Hide's engine room.

@Silvertongue Songfox
 
Silvertongue nodded, a bit confused. Talinn wanted to talk to him now? About what? A lot to discuss? Oh gods. He swallowed his nerves and walked into the cabin, holding his hat to his chest as he approached. "You... you asked to see me, sir?"
 
“I did…” Talinn managed to gesturing for Silvertongue to sit closer to his side. As the Songfox did so, he nodded at the little bit of the remaining scotch that Gyles had given to him. “Pour yourself a drink, if you wish, my Aide…”

It was going to be something of an interesting conversation with him, given all that had transpired, both in this life, and the next one. Perhaps he should open up with the former, since the younger todd still seemed a bit frayed from all that had occurred. As Silvertongue elected to drink, or, not drink, Talinn focused on the younger fox.

“How are you feeling, Silvertongue? About all that transpired on that island, and, in your role in general?”


@Silvertongue Songfox
 
"Sir, I don't drink." Silvertongue said firmly. "Thank you for the offer, however." He sniffed a bit, his nose wrinkling at the foul odor of the drink.

"I should ask you how you're feeling, Sir. You went through a frozen hell... and for what?"

Silvertongue leaned down. "If you want the truth, Sir, I'll give it to you straight. I feel like I am no better than a savage pirate. What 'authority' did we have to go to that village and massacre those shrews? All for some weird rock that's already making beasts act weird? Was it worth it? The weight of all those souls?" Silvertongue was working himself up to a full blown rant. "Those 'savages' whose mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers, elderly and child alike we slew as if they were lesser than us? And let's pretend for a moment that their lives aren't important." Silvertongue sneered at the thought. "What about the marines, then? It was just as much of a massacre on our end as it was theirs."

Silvertongue turned away. "I know it's going to keep me up at night. If I hadn't been fooling about on the railings during the 'negotiations', maybe things would have gone differently..."
 
Talinn listened patiently to Silvertongue, more, perhaps, than he would have for most beasts on the Hide, given his promise to the Songfox clan to watch over him as if he were another son of his. Arguably, he had to admit, that did not count for much given how he had treated his two boys, but he was going to try to be a better father in the future, and he might as well start with the latest member of the Songfox lineage. He did, however, want to sigh a bit, as the younger todd actually questioned whether or not they had the authority to do what they did to the shrews, as if those deceptive, cannibalistic bastards would have questioned for a single moment putting him in a pot of stew and sharing his remains at whatever ‘Gates-damned cursed festival they would put on if they had won.

There have been, of course, missions of dubious morality that the Imperium has undertaken, but mostly for its own security. The world is harsh, and resources are limited, and at the end of the day, you are either on top or are under the heel of other beasts. But what we did to those shrews was completely justified given how they attacked us first and refused all offers of negotiations*.

“I will recover…” Talinn replied calmly, glancing down at his broken body, which had barely scraped by, “...though it may take some time.”

He paused, taking a breath.

“As for the mission, Mate Stowett and Bosun Waverunner know, but now that you are an officer, I can illuminate you. The Imperium is a bastion of civilization in a lawless and brutal world, welcoming everybeast who is willing to serve the Empress, regardless of their background, as both you and Greeneye have found out, protected now from your pursuers by Her Majesty. But to maintain such a position, resources are required, and the cost of acquiring those can be quite high.”

He paused, gesturing downwards to the hold, where the idol was.

“That idol has the ability to generate the steam that runs this ship, which is the future of the Imperium in so many ways, with only a few side effects. No constant exploitation of the land for coal and lumber, nor the risks involved with acquiring and transporting either, which could easily lead us into much larger conflicts where thousands, perhaps even tens of thousands of beasts could die. If we are able to unlock its secrets, and find out where even a small portion of such is, countless lives could be saved not only now, but in the future.”

His words rang true, because he believed them to be. He did, of course leave out many key details regarding how such would massively increase his own family’s power and security, but the Songfox did not need to know that.

“As for the marines, they signed up knowing what could happen to them, and knowing to trust in their superior officers. It was unfortunate that the intelligence provided to us woefully underprepared us for such an assault, and it will be dealt with in time.”


Talinn’s voice was particularly cold for a moment at the last few words-whoever had provided him with the incorrect intelligence was not going to have a very good time in the near future.

“But, as an officer, which you are now, no matter how much you plan, you have to adapt to complete the mission at all costs. That is the backbone on which the Imperium, and your mates, rely upon. And, if necessary, you are to sacrifice yourself to do so.”


He pointed downwards at his own broken body to illustrate the point of sacrifice, letting the words sink in.

“As for the shrews…” he took a deep breath “...despite them ending the lives of countless Imperium beasts, and other beasts, over the decades, remember, Silvertongue, that we offered them the chance of parlay to avoid bloodshed, and they instead took the opportunity to not only attempt to capture you, but launch a surprise attack to kill all of us, and do what they would do to our corpses. Even when that failed, we did not go forward to conquer them, but simply held our position once we sufficiently secured a landing until we could achieve our objective-we did not make them mount another attack against us. Like most conflicts, it is kill or be killed at the end of the day.”


He paused, taking a paw and rubbing his forehead.

“The taking of a life is always something to consider, and I have never taken one that I did not think was necessary**. In their own fashion as you have pointed out but, we, too, have brothers, fathers, sisters, mothers, beasts we love. But if you think of such during battle, or, linger on it too much afterwards, it is difficult or impossible to raise one’s sword again. As I said, in the end, it was us, or them, and lingering on it will drive you mad.”


*Talinn, of course, being unaware that the shrews did offer a parlay, which was cut short by a marine’s crossbow bolt, either because those involved had died, or because no one wanted to report such a colossal failure to him.

**Although Talinn’s definition of necessary may not exactly agree with the morals of most normal beasts.


@Silvertongue Songfox
 
Silvertongue grimaced. "Forgive me for speaking out of place, Sir. I just felt the need to say it."

He sighed heavily. "As for how I feel about my 'role' in all of it... I wanted to help everyone. I did what I felt was necessary. If it means I have the qualities of an 'Officer', or a 'Leader'... then so be it. The way I think of it, I just want to be a good creature. I want to have the qualities of a Songfox. Something that would make my.... my family... proud."

Silvertongue looked at the floor, rubbing his arm.
 
Talinn waved a paw at his aide’s apology for speaking out of place, indicating that such was unnecessary.

“You had my leave to speak your mind, Silvertongue, there is no need to apologize, and frankness between a superior officer and those under his command are appreciated, but at the appropriate time, as Seabeast Morgan had to find out. If you were not, then how could you ever hope to learn, and how could I ever hope to mentor you?”

He paused, sitting more up in his bed, listening as Silvie gave the reasoning of why he did what he did. It made sense, now, some of his actions. The young Songfox meant well and had bravery, but he had to learn to marshal his strength. The fire that burned too bright burned out quickly, after all.

He closed his eyes for a moment, and then took a few breathes before replying, being uncharacteristically gentle with the young todd, either because of his experiences in the afterlife, because of the situation that he had found himself in where he was far over his head, or both.

“You did indeed mean well and wished to help, and, in many ways, you were valiant.”


He paused.

“But, I challenge you, when you have more time, to reflect on the definition of what being a ‘good’ beast means. Is it good to sacrifice yourself for your friends, when they do not ask you to, and when they need your leadership far more than they need your blood being spilled? If you had died and all order had been broken by your death, would your sacrifice have been more or less likely to save those who you love, and the even more beasts counting on you to protect them?”

He shook his head, and his voice softened.

“It is not an admonishment, but it is something for you to reflect upon.”


He believed Silvertongue was smart enough to learn that lesson*, so he moved onto that topic.

“As for being a Songfox…” he stared at him for a moment, then, looked suspiciously up at the ceiling for a moment, before lowering his voice to barely a whisper, indicating Silvertongue should do the same “your father...did he happen to be a fox of an ordinary color, typically wearing some sort of blue gambeson? And did something bad happen to him involving a badger? And his name...Firetail?”

*Although, perhaps, as the events of the future might indicate, he may have to learn it more than a few times for it to stick.

@Silvertongue Songfox
 
Silvertongue's face paled. He leaned in close to Talinn. "Sir, how do you know these things? I haven't told anyone about it." He looked around, a frightened look in his eyes. "Did... did it appear to you in a dream?"
 
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