Open Side Adventure The Timmynocky

Darragh Harper

Navy
Rating: Deckswab
Influence
3,891.00
We’re rollin’, we’re haulin, we’re flyin’ on the port tack,
I’ll be scamperin’ aloft, to prove I ain’t gone soft,
Wind’s checked around, chopped about, now we’re headin’ aback,

We’re close-hauled, on the starboard bow, steering full and by,
I’ll be lazin’ in the mess, with grog to drown me stress,
I do me ‘ardest work with footpaws up, warm an’ dry!

- Darragh Harper, Wish for Better Weather: Collected Sea Rhymes and Poetry

Nonsense songs and half-written poems jabbered inanely in Darragh’s head. In the few weeks he’d been at sea, an entire dictionary of nautical terms had been haphazardly flung into his vocabulary with the force of a cannon shot, scattering bits of grammar and rhyme schemes in its wake. Learning new words in the Navy always seemed to come at the exact moment where understanding them was the difference between life or death.

Put yer footpaws there on the footropes ye daft stoat, that’s what they’re for! Keep ahold of the truss-tackle lad, or the topsail yard’ll dash your brains out! Don’t touch that, it’s the throttle valve for the steam engine! If it blows, you’ll be cooked medium-rare where you stand, boy!”

There were many duties Darragh rotated through, bit-by-bit acclimatising him to every aspect of Navy life. His initial terror at going aloft up the rigging was starting to turn into exhilaration, as he began to trust that the heavy hemp shrouds and creaking yardarms would hold, and that he could trust himself to hang on. He was getting the hang of the rhythm of the Golden Hide herself, from her sonorous voice in the bell, to the steady groan-slosh of her bilge pumps, whenever he was sent down below, huffing and sweating away to dry out the ship’s innermost depths. Her engine was her mechanical heart, the thrumming of her inner works and the rattle of the steam pipes becoming a wordless lullaby to the stoat when he lay exhausted in his hammock.

Outside of learning about his duties, Darragh was also learning about the rowdy, close-knit society-in-miniature he rubbed shoulders with. He had been a wandering stoat for long enough to recognise the knowing looks and whispered cadence of the Vagrant’s Economy - the invisible marketplace of junk and scrap collectors, rag-and-bone beasts, and the furtive procurers of illicit goods who always know-a-fella. The Golden Hide had her own shadowy commerce exchange, in practicalities like tobacco, scraps of writing paper, a pair of gloves, or even a very illicit shot of pure rum. There were also items of more abstract value, such as good-luck charms, a golden earring, Seer’s bones, or even just plain old gambling dice. Just like on land though, you had to know-a-fella, and gain his trust. Fortunately for Darragh, any perceptive eye could pick up that he was no tattle-tale.

Not all had been plain sailing for Darragh. For every grizzled old senior seabeast that was willing to teach him better knot-tying through mouthfuls of curses and spit, there would also be some cheeky younger jack that outranked him by a hair, and enjoyed treating him like a new punching-bag. There had been a few beasts so far that had challenged him to a proper boxing match - deep in the hold when the Middle Watch was on and no officers were likely to get wind of it. Darragh had made good account of himself, and given out a few black eyes, in return for the lesser share of bruises. Most of the crew and the fighters would honour the outcome of such a fight as the final word on a disagreement. Most.

Darragh hadn’t fought Able Seabeast Jinks, but he had beaten Jinks’ friend, Harrow, in one of these under-deck scraps. He’d shaken Harrow’s paw, the two had agreed that Darragh did not owe the ferret a month’s worth of doing his laundry, and that should have been the end of it. Jinks, however, seemed to hold a grudge on his friend’s behalf. Perhaps it was because they were both ferrets, or just that Darragh was a lowly deckswab who should have rightly lost to a more experienced Navy jack. Whatever the reason, Jinks wouldn’t challenge Darragh to a fight directly, but instead pulled rank to assign him a continuous barrage of tasks that the stoat couldn’t justifiably refuse.

Oi! Harper! Get me the ship’s Timmynocky, sharpish!

Darragh inwardly groaned at the sound of Jinks’ petulant tone. He had just finished a lesson in tying the gaskets for a furled sail, and the ferret had cornered him as he’d been coming down the foremast shrouds. The stoat was not very good at hiding his emotions, his muzzle wrinkling in frustration as he tried to recall if he’d heard that word before.

Aye, okay-so, Able Seabeast, but what manner of thing is a Timmynocky?” Darragh asked, bracing himself for the explosion to follow. As expected, he received a firm cuff to his head. Jinks was taller and heavier than Darragh, his shirt sleeves always rolled up to show off his strong arms, and a blue cotton cloth he'd bought in some far-off port tied around his thick neck.

What, they didn’t have ‘em in Ould Took-um-berry?” Jinks sneered, in a poor imitation of Darragh’s lilting accent. “Why don’tcha show some o’ them smarts you pretend to ‘ave under that ugly hat, an’ find out? Call it a um… trainin’ exercise! I want that Timmynocky by the first dog watch, Harper, or I’ll make it a disciplinary matter! Now shift it!

Aye-aye, Able Seabeast,” Darragh said miserably, unable to keep the exasperation out of his voice, which brought a satisfied smirk to Jinks' face. The skinny stoat tugged a scrap of his headfur and scarpered, trying to look busy and determined.

Spiteful gutless Jinks, why doesn’t he just call me out, if he hates me so much? Let’s just have a good fight and get it over with. Tch, typical cowardly bully, Darragh ruminated to himself. Now where would I keep a Timmynocky, if I had one and knew what it was for?

Perhaps it was a part for the engine? Or maybe some kind of specialised tool? The trouble was everything on the ship seemed to have at least more than a few nicknames, so for all he knew, he’d been holding a Timmynocky not an hour ago without even knowing that’s what it was called.

Erm, just after the ol’ Timmynocky, mate, ye haven’t seen it?” Darragh asked around. Blank stares. Shrugs A guffaw and a shake of the head. Darragh felt his shoulders droop, as he headed below decks. Maybe it was in a storage room. Or maybe, come this evening, he was utterly doomed.
 
The tang of whale oil hung heavy in the air, thick and cloying in the cramped storage room. Swifttail crouched beside the barrel marked with a faded stamp of the Ministry of Commerce, one paw steadying the small oiler can, the other gripping a brass-handled spigot turned half open. Viscous amber liquid trickled out with a slurp and a glug, coating the inside of the can with slow, syrupy swirls.

Blasted stuff,” he muttered.

A sudden squelch between his paw pads made him scowl. He lifted one paw to find a smear of oil slicking his fur to a glisten.

Every flamin’ time,” he grumbled.

Tugging a filthy rag from the back pocket of his soot-dusted navy-issue trousers, Swifttail gave his paws a few vigorous swipes. The fabric left behind streaks of gray grime, but it was better than nothing. He stuffed the rag off to the side atop a crate of fraying ropes and turned back to the task, carefully topping up the canister.

The door suddenly burst open with a metallic clunk. Swifttail jumped, claws jerking on the spigot.

Hell’s...!

A sudden burble of oil surged from the barrel, sloshing over the rim of the can and spattering across his sleeve, his trousers, and the planks at his feet in a pungent wave.

He snapped the valve shut, ears flattened and eyes narrowed, tail bristling behind him.

Oi! Watch it, would you? I nearly drowned in fisk!

He spun around ready to give whoever barged in a proper look.
 
Silvertongue, the current Aide-De-Camp, was as far away from the oil as he could be in the crowded storage room. On another of the endless tasks the Captain had for him. He didn't envy Swifttail a bit in that moment, though he did pity his fellow fox. He was lifting up a crate when the door was slammed open, the sudden surprise causing him to drop it from its paws. It crashed onto the deck, as Silvertongue nearly leapt onto the shelf, his tail poofed out in alarm. He turned around, holding a paw to his chest. He was about to speak, when Swifttail spoke for him. Rather harshly in fact.

"Swifttail." Silvertongue said, a bit out of breath. "I would appreciate it if we did not get hostile with fellow crew members." He wanted to try and keep the peace. The last thing he wanted was to report another issue to the Captain. "I'm sure he didn't mean to alarm us like that."
 
Swifttail stood, grabbing the rag and wiping the stinking substance off his garments the best he could and sighed.

"Sorry Silvie. Just a bit frustrated," He smiled softly.

"Any my apologies to you as well," He nodded to the stoat.
 
In his rush, Darragh forgot just how well-oiled the hinges on the storage door were. She might have been a middle-aged warship, but the Golden Hide had been skilfully refurbished and fastidiously maintained to a state of Military Readiness - including new hinges that would not get stuck at a critical moment. Which meant as soon as he shoved the door open, it swung neatly aside, out of his scrabbling fingers, and came to a stop with a loud thunk against the bulkhead. The stoat winced. Well, at least there wasn’t anybeast important around that might take offence.

…Oh. You were just too impatient to wait for your sunset execution, huh? Death by foxes, I like it. It’s exotic, but refined. You bloody fool.

Darragh saluted, raising his paw in a longest-way-up flourish, palm faced downwards to hide the tar stains on his palm-pad. Not that he thought the Engineer’s Mate would be particularly offended by the sight of more muck, but Darragh wouldn’t let it be said he forgot his manners before he went down. His face looked almost as crumpled and defeated as the battered hat perched over one of his ears, his whiskers starting to droop.

B-Beggin’ yer pardon, Engineer’s Mate, beggin’ doubly yer pardon, Aide-de-Camp,” Darragh babbled. “I-I’ll handle that mess right away, sirs, I know there’s a sandbag in here just for the occasion of a daft fool like m’self causin’ a mischief, d-don’t trouble y’selves, though I ‘spect you’ll want to be clappin’ me in irons shortly, ah, I should mention I’ve already got a flayin’ comin’ my way at eight bells regardless so erm… s-saves your good selves precious time an’ effort, so it does!

The stoat was darting from crate to barrel while he chattered, his paws visibly trembling, his tail bottle-brushed right to its ink-black tip. He had not really merited the notice of either fox much before on this voyage, though he had seen them both in passing. In particular, the officer's vibrantly coloured outfits had caught his attention, especially since Mr. Songfox seemed to be on-duty and breathlessly busy about the ship at all hours.

The more lurid rumours floating around Darragh’s mess said that Silvertongue Songfox was some Imperium-renowned musician, who had stolen away to sea on an officer’s commission for dark and mysterious reasons. The tales grew more fantastical depending on the sobriety of the speaker, some said he had played a violin, or harpsichord for the Empress herself, but earned himself a death sentence when he rejected her advances. Others said he was a trained opera singer, a countertenor that could make even the most flint-hearted of the elite weep like babes, who had grown bored of his soft existence and taken up the profession of a highway robber, only to be unmasked, and forced into hiding. Darragh wasn’t sure he believed any of that word-for-word, but he had to admit, he was curious.

Swifttail had been far less a target for rumours, at least as far as the Tall-Tale Trust of Darragh’s mess was concerned. They had little understanding of the engineer’s job, the engine itself was buried deep below and off-limits, so it was rare for them to even get a glimpse of his distinct platinum fur. The nastier things said about Swifttail really were the kinds of things you always heard about foxes - that they were always meddling with things they shouldn’t, and that they were far too clever for their own good. Darragh felt he’d rather have the company of beasts too clever than ones that were too stupid. The latter made very poor art critics.

Ah, here it is!” Darragh heaved up a half-empty sack of sand. It came in useful for soaking up all the various nasty fluids that splattered the Hide’s decks on a daily basis. The stoat dragged it over to the barrel, his snout twitching a little as he caught the smell of the spilled whale-oil.
 
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