Open The Slups In Search of the Best Boss

[Bitter and Jitter]

Fifteen Years Ago​

"Come on, Jitter, come on!" Bitter yelled out to Jitter, glancing back at him.

"I'm coming, just hold on-!" Jitter panted heavily, doubling over. "I think we lost those guys..."

"Think again!" A fox stepped out from a nearby alley, pulling his fist back and punching Bitter in the face, sending her sprawling.

"Bitter!" Jitter exclaimed, before growling and launching himself at the fox, punching and clawing and kicking at him.

"Get off me, ya little shit!" The fox grabbed Jitter by his neck and tossed him to the ground. Bitter, who had been stunned, grabbed a flask from her pack and tossed it at the fox. The glass shattered against the fox's snout, and a bright blue liquid splattered against his face.

The fox yelped in pain and alarm, clawing at the goop now sticking to his fur. "WHAT IN HELLGATES IS THIS CRAP?!" He hollered, but Bitter and Jitter were already running again.

Bitter and Jitter cackled, sprinting off into the night. No one was ever going to catch them.

Present Day​

The duo was at it again, running down an empty alleyway as sharp whistles rang throughout the streets.

"STOP! THIEVES!" A voice bellowed behind them.

Bitter snickered. "What do you think, Jitter? Should we stop?"

Jitter smirked and laughed. "Naaahhh!"

As the two ran, Bitter stopped for a moment to admire a poster on one of the side walls of the alley.

WANTED


5000 GILDER REWARD

FOR INFORMATION

LEADING TO CAPTURE​

"Oooohh, Jitter, our bounty went up another thousand gilders!" Bitter tore the poster from the wall, excitedly.

"Really?! Oh boy, Oh, boy!" Jitter pumped his fist in the air. "Maybe now we'll find a good boss!"

"I know we will one day." Bitter sighed wistfully.

"There you are!" The Fogey who had been pursuing the duo turned the corner.

"Oh crap! Smoke Bomb!" Bitter grabbed a vial from her pack and tossed it to the ground, the impact shattering the vial and causing thick plumes of smoke to billow upward. Bitter and Jitter took this chance to flee, arriving in the shadier part of The Slups now, where Fogeys tended not to follow.

 

[Lumiko]

She'd been doing good for quite a while. Waking in the morning, something akin to sleep at night. No powders, no liquids, just water and the occasional apple juice, which tasted weird when it wasn't fermented. But the thing she couldn't do without, no matter how hard she tried...

The weasel shambled down the street somewhere in the Duskshambles, scratching at her arms absent-mindedly. She didn't need to look where she was going - anybeast with sense gave her a wide berth. The patches of mange on her face and paws told a story that the grungy habit she wore couldn't hide. The flea baths were helping, but it was a war of attrition and the soap was losing, badly.

Occasionally she would stop somebeast, croaking after them in a hoarse voice, pulling a potato from her pocket and trying to barter. No one stopped for her. Everyone sped up.

At some point she'd found a bottle of grog left unattended. It wasn't stealing if it was abandoned, surely? It wasn't a sin in the eyes of the Great Kitsune, surely, if she were to make sure no kit were to stumble upon it. So she would clean it up. A good deed for the day. And empty it, first, so the bottle could be re-used.

And then she'd sold her potato for another pint, and now she had nothing but time. No, that wasn't true, it was never true. She had herself. And her clothes. She was just buzzed enough to consider that donating her habit would be considered an act of charity. Donated in exchange for another drink, or... or...!

Footpaws padding down the street towards her... Lumiko perked up, hiccuping wearily, and drawled out:

"H-hey... you there... y'wanna... wanna robe? I got... I got a robe, you got... a cigar? Smokies? Ehh? Got a light?"

She squinted into the shadows, the shape of a ferret and stoat becoming clearer. Two of them! She started wobbling off to the side and slumped against the wall while trying to untie her habit and lift the hem at the same time to show off her legs.

"Heyyyy, gorgeouses...es... How 'bout under the robe? Like what ya see? Got room for another? Alley's fine... just wanna little smoke, pipe, anythin'... just a little grib'll do, crumbs, what say you? An hour, two hours? I got all niiiight, gents, ladies..." She rubbed at her eyes and blinked. "One of each's fine, I like sharin', you got anythin' for me?"