Private Barracks/Imperial Condos Completed Occult Division Two wizards under one roof

[Rosmakh W. Dowganosyv]

"I wouldn't be as dismissive of gods. They are puny compared to the beings beyond, but you shouldn't needlessly anger them. After all, they make the trees grow and tides pull back and forth. They can do much worse to us than we can do to them"

Rosmakh listened to nevali's next question with interest. He seemed to be troubled by something, mouthing the word "tulpa" a few times as if trying to recall an answer on an exam. Then he began speaking, often pausing as if to let his thoughts catch up with his tongue.

"Thinking is more powerful than it seems, it's not good...to underestimate it. All changes in a beast starts in their thoughts."

The wolverine stopped, looked around as if losing track not just of his train of thought but something tangible as well, before starting again.

"I have tried something when I was little, manifesting my memories. I can't get into specifics, but it isn't good. At first it works well, then it works ill. I saw him, playing and walking and giggling, but then I didn't, and it would have been better that I have never made myself see him again."

He stopped once again, this time more abruptly.

"But I wouldn't like to keep you here any longer. I don't think you should be all alone in this city late at night. This city, I love it as much as I don't. There are as many good beasts as there are terrible ones. The good beasts, there aren't better anywhere else. The bad ones, you can only find worse ones down under Hela"

Dowganosyv pointed down at the ground, before looking where he was pointing and seeing it was a slightly cracked floorboard. He found this funny for some reason, and snickered to himself.

 

[Nevali]

Exactly why I don't have much respect, though Nevali, glumly. As a beetle should hate me for the things I can do to them. But beetles don't build empires out of rot and suffering, and if they did, I would try to fix it. That's the difference between a beast and a god. And I am neither.

She picked up a mug and gripped it tightly as he then spoke of his manifestations. She nodded slowly, taking it all in.

And she knew the signs that said, "It's time for you to leave, now", but she couldn't, not yet. This troubling thought needed to be put to rest, and if he could answer it and solve the equation in her head... then whatever happened afterwards would be a blessing either way.

"I'm... not without protection," she said softly, tugging at her robe. She rapped her knuckles against her chest, producing the soft thump of light armour. "It's kind of you to worry so, and I will take my leave soon enough, but... Professor. Might you divine my purpose?"

She looked up from the mug for the first time in a few minutes, and gazed into his eyes, searching them, as if they were a mirror to her own and that she might see a glimmer of hope in hers by doing so.

"That night as a kit, I felt it all go wrong. Sometimes I wonder if it was... if it was me, if it was Nevali, who was sent back. This theory of mine... I feel as though, perhaps, I have served the purpose that I was returned to perform. I lived the life she would have lived as best as I could. And I met this wonderful, beautiful jill, my Junebug. And now... now she is gone. The day after I found out, I felt them return. I felt their long presence by my bed, and heard the buzzing of their magic, and though I did not see their ship or their light, I know they had visited for some reason. Professor, I believe they tried to unwind me and something interrupted them. I... I sought my Junebug out for her, for the Nevali that was, and she was collected to live among the stars, so they could be together. I am a tulpa. I am her memories of what could have been, and I'm very, very tired. I am lost in a rainbow. And now the rainbow is gone."

Her eyes were dry as she stared into the wolverine's face, her every word dripping with sincerity.

"Can you find what purpose I now serve, or am I just an echo of thought that can't stop being dreamed? When will those who dream me awaken and let me... let me go?"

 

[Rosmakh W. Dowganosyv]

Dowganosyv struggled to keep up. He already knew nothing about tulpas safe for how Nevali described them, and just when he thought he creatively past that question he saw it only lead into an even deeper investigation he wasn't at all ready for. What could it possibly mean to define a purpose? How was it different from finding or knowing one? How could this little weasel be anything like a tulpa if she was able to eat speak take up place and throw bread in the air and get it stuck against a wall. Should he play along, or tel her to quit being silly, or did she lose track of what's true?

"Madame Wayward, your purpose is to be a good beast so that beasts will be good and the world would be a better place. As for the Tulpas..."

"Be silent Levin, focus on your exercises"

Rosmakh closed his eyes deep in thought, clearly attempting to find an answer of his own. He didn't see Levin had turned and perked up his ears during Nevali's question.

"But I finished my exercises professor, and I think that you're tired and need help answering that question. Let's go through it bit by bit, our guest believes that she is the manifestation of someone else's thoughts, who is now a star beast, and that she doesn't know what to do without the beast who manifested her. There's no reason to be sad about it madame, you can't be sure that's the case since you don't seem to be a tulpa to me, and even if you were, you can still be, maybe you are meant to be here, to do good on earth as Nevali does good among the stars. I will say that you do so very well, and..."

"Levin, this whole tulpa thing has gone half a dozen pawsteps too far don't you think?"

"I politely disagree professor, see, Nevali is just confused whether she is the manifester or the manifestation, like without good knowledge of nature it's not clear whether the Sun goes around the Earth or the Earth goes around the Sun."

"You disagree with me Levin?"

Dowganosyv said, clearly not thinking the ermine was capable of such a thing.

"Respectfully of course, I would love to hear your arguments against the assertion..."

"It's way too late for this. Madame Wayward, this was just the most stimulating conversation, I thought until I could think no more, take that as a compliment. I will write a letter to you with my thoughts on this subject some time this week. I'll be much smarter in the morning that's for sure. Anything you need help with, Levin can do"

The wolverine didn't open his eyes, but his ears were still perked up and his nose twitched. It was hard to tell what state he was in, but it wasn't anything like rest or sleep. It almost looked like he was in pain, and he tried to avoid provoking it further by not looking or thinking.

 

[Nevali]

Their arguing faded to the back of her mind like a dull hum. Perhaps it was too much to hope for, having an answer so quickly. Nevali's crossed eyes stared at the wolverine as he went still.

"Right," she said. "Sorry, sir. Thank you again for the invitation, conversation, book, an' hospitality. I'll, um, see myself out. Levin, you honey a mean slice of bread, an' I'm glad to see your exercises an' tutoring under the Professor have led to such an inquisitive and perceptive mind."

She stood carefully, picking up the book that was lent, and gave a little dip - more towards Levin than Dowganosyv, since only one had their eyes open to appreciate the gesture.

"Good evening, gentlebeasts, may the night find you well, and may the rest never find you at all."

She gave a little zhpzhp from her throat, and made her way to the door once more, her footpaws shuffling a little more than necessary, as if she didn't quite want to leave after all. She didn't. She wanted answers, but... well, he was an older beast, she supposed. She let herself out and closed the door as quietly as she could.

She strangely didn't feel so hollow anymore. She'd had a good cry in the privy, that sometimes helped. Levin's words had been touching. A good beast... is that what I am? Am I just here to make others feel better? I shouldn't expect anything from it, but it doesn't feel fair.

Nevali hugged the book to her chest and leaned against the wall, staring up at the evening sky. Little stars were starting to shimmer beyond wispy winter clouds, and the cold crept up her footpaws and tugged at her sleeves.

She slid down the wall and sat, just watching as the sky grew darker.

They had to be together. Nothing made any sense otherwise.