Fogeys Open Zann's Alley/Backyard The Crown v. Harper

Darragh Harper

Rating: Deckswab
Fortuna Survivor Urk Expedition Service Badge
Character Biography
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As the night of the Frost Fair grew late, it snowed all the harder. Consistent snowfall through the colder months was a perfect excuse for Darragh to avoid a fur trimming - he hated those, and the stoat needed every bit of his white winter coat to conserve heat.

The Minister of Innovation himself had been pawing out magic hot waterskins, and Darragh had received one gratefully. Tucking the waterskin under his shirt had worked for maybe fifteen minutes of going around looking like a pregnant jill (complete with how wild his long headfur was growing)… until the buttons had finally given up on their frayed threads, and burst off. Seeing an ermine jill with an unusually raspy voice have some steaming, fizzing lump burst out of her belly, straight out of a pulp-horror story, had caused at least one passer-by to faint from shock.

Walking around with his shirt hanging open and the waterskin losing its heat, Darragh eventually decided the evening would be well-rounded off with a traditional Frost Fair treat - drinking the last of his pocket of gilders away before he went home to his rented attic above Selwyn Sedgewick’s Stationarie Shoppe. Pub crawl!

The pub crawl turned into more of a Pub Odyssey, as Darragh got lost trying to find his way home. He hadn't grown up in Bully Harbour, so he lacked the native drunk's instinct for finding his way back to his bed, and navigating by pub was a sure way for him to become both disoriented, and thoroughly sloshed. It was only when Big Val struck midnight that Darragh realised he’d been stumbling and swaying the wrong way entirely.

Dahh… ‘nuvver bloo’y ‘our o’ snowslogg’n’ back, sodd’n’ stree’ si’s don’ tailsniff’n’ tell ye sca’…” Darragh burbled, his accent, usually a playful lilt, growing nearly half as thick and ornery as his mother’s. “If’n ‘at’s th’bi’ corkin’ grea’ ticker, migh’ as we’ pay m’res-pecks whi’e ‘m‘ere…

The ruins of the opera house had been cordoned off, but it was hardly a priority for anybeast to guard a giant pile of ashes. In the light of the whale-oil streetlamps, it was a hulking black silhouette of filthy snow-mush and cinders. Darragh had been expecting it to be still warm, in some poetic way. As though that night of horrors still lingered in heat, the way it smoldered in the memories of those that had been there.

It was dead cold. Darragh sifted through a few blackened bits before he found a suitable piece of charcoal. He wrapped it in a rag with his other charcoal writing-bits - it was always good to have a spare. Maybe there was something poetic in that?

Mm… burrn arrt dowwn… make arrt from assshes… fff…” Darragh over-articulated, flailing his paws in a theatric gesture. No, now was not the time for coherent poetry. He paused for a moment in respect of the dead innocents whose were probably still buried in the wreckage, before also making a rude gesture intended at the remains of the dead murderers and arsonists that had been caught in their own trap. "Ne'er 'gain, y'Gates-boun' vill'ns..."

Needing a place to relieve himself, Darragh stumbled away from the cordoned off area, and wandered up to a convenient wall across the road. Unfortunately for the young stoat, the wall he found was attached to a castle… fortress… government office called the Ministry of War, which happened to be slightly better-guarded than the ruins.

Oi! Stop right there, miscreant!

Ahem! Cease your perpetration of public indecency, young scofflaw!

Darragh made a rude gesture, not even bothering to turn around. “Lemme finish y’zhipperfriskin’ ol’ sacks o’ squ’irlsca’, who as’d ye?

There was a pause. Then, everybeast spoke at once.

…Wot?

…Come again?

…Wha’?

Darragh heard a snarl.

Wotcher say you ‘orrible little snotball?! Are you cheekin’ an h’officer h’of the law?!

Darragh turned his head, grinning like he’d been made emperor. There were a couple of blurry Fogeys, one a short fat fox, the other a tall thin rat, and both looked rather cross. The alcohol running through his veins told him not to worry about it. He was fast as a shooting star and invisible as the wind.

…aye. Oh, c’n y’still see me? ‘Ang on, camoo-flaawwj ain’t workin’ righ’.

How much have you had to drink tonight, sir?”” Asked Constable Shorty O’Lard.

No’nuff t’mprove y’looks, y’filthy ould scuzzbaw,” Darragh replied, shrugging off his shirt.

Shorty frowned. “Sergeant… I've failed to comprehend the suspect's regional dialect. What should I do?

Sergeant Stringbean gripped his truncheon. “Stop taking your demmed clothes h’off, you wretched little pervert!

Ah, yes, sir, if you would please remain attired, it’s quite frigid tonight…

Darragh twirled, in nothing but his cap over one ear. “See! Y’can’ see me! Can’ ge’ mad! M’nvisible! Snoweas’l!

I’m afraid our investigative senses cannot be so easily deceived, young fellow-…

H’of course we can bloody see h’entirely too much of you!

Naw, naw, stan’ ba’ a’ bi’, see, on th’road wi’ all’issnow, whi’e-on-whi’e, aye?” Darragh explained, wobbling away from the wall, and positioning himself between the Fogeys and the rough direction he thought would get him back home.

…I suppose you could blend in a little with the surroundings sir, except you keep swaying.

Stuff’n’nonsense! That’s it, you’re h’under arre- OI!

Darragh was already sprinting. Stringbean was off like a cannon shot after him, while O’Lard cunningly assigned himself the less strenuous duty of picking up Darragh’s discarded belongings. Securing evidence was a very important duty for a Fogey.

@Talinn Ryalor @Samuel Grimes @Aramaeus Lemon @Cricket @Eskila @Silvertongue Songfox @Callix Noxi @SwifttailTheFox @FinnianBrightfur @Kaii Nashirou

(Tagging everybody I think might have been interested in a dramatic arrest and some courtroom drama!)
 
It had been a long, gruelling, exhausting day. But there had been fizz. And somehow those things that one Minister had given out maybe helped. Despite all the beasts covered in snow and freezing, there'd been less fires tonight compared to last night.

Eskila hadn't been able to sleep, again. So she made waffles, made sure Oreva's bandages had been changed out, and put her armour on to go wandering. Ears alert, nose up to the wind, always trying to detect the telltale signs of Too Much Smoke. There was always a little, but Too Much wasn't that pleasant peaceful kind of smoke smell. It often had the sharpness of fur, flesh, and straw that should have been too wet and musty to burn. But tonight, the air was almost clear.

Her wandering paws brought her to the Opera house, as they often did this season. It wasn't her jurisdiction, but it was just close enough that she should have been there. Would have been there, if she hadn't been sent away to that wellness vacation at Tully Shore.

The orange-clad sable stared pensively at the burnt rubble. Whatever complicated thoughts whirled around in her head stayed there, her mouth closed in a tight frown. At least until she remembered the waffle she was holding, and bit into it. It had partially frozen. It was good.

The commotion across the street went ignored. She ponderously finished her waffle, never blinking, never moving save for the slow chewing and lifting of breakfast food to her mouth.

Something white flashed across her peripheral vision.

Eskila turned, eyes following the chase. The word "ermine" bubbled up in her mind, followed then by fond memories of her short time with that pull-it, Darragh. It felt like it had been the only real conversation she'd had with anybeast in years. No, no, there had been the one about eggs with the fox and lizard kits. And Oreva's cards were coming along and she was learning to talk with her paws as well. But Darragh's time with her had felt deeper than all of that. She missed him.

Hold on.

The sable adjusted her spectacles.

That zig-zagging ermine did look familiar, somehow. She tried to picture him wearing pyjamas. Her tail gave an excited wriggle.

"Oh," she said. "Darragh."

Then she put her helm on and sprinted after them.

She quite easily outpaced the Fogey, giving him a little wave as she pounded past, her plate-clad boots clanking on the cobbles. He gawked at her, shield and halberd slung over her back, dented old Stoatorian Guard plate cuirass and helm moving so easily with her lithe body's bounding strides.

The difference between a fire fighter and the average Fogey is that fire fighters are the kind of beasts who want to get to their destination sooner.

Catching up to Darragh, she slowed her pace and jogged alongside him. He smelled like drink and wee.

"Hi," she panted, mouth open wide behind the pointed muzzle of her helm as she gulped down air. "It is a nice night for exercise isn't it? Why are you naked?" She glanced over her shoulder. "Is it a training exercise?"

The facts in Eskila's head were these: Being naked wasn't a crime in Bully Harbour, although some kinds of fashion were. Earlier she had seen a totally naked leopard cat in the presence of several Ministers, and no arrests had been made in regards to that. The other fact was that she knew as deep as any other truth in the universe, that Darragh was a Good Boy, and so there was no possible way the Fogey would be chasing after him because of Darragh being in trouble. The third fact was that she sad she didn't bring along an extra waffle for him.
 
“SARGE!”

Grimes near fell out of his Fogey cot where he had been trying to get the end of a decent day’s kip in preparation for his transfer the next morning. Distant whistles were already beginning to reach his ears, the force’s call to action. Out of habit, he was at least fully dressed but for his beret.

“Nghhh, what is it Blobby?”

The toad shuffled up to Grimes’ bunk in his slightly chewed uniform that was more pinned to the amphibian than worn owing to Blobbs not yet seeking, let alone, affording a tailor to literally suit him. “You’ve got to come quick, Sarge. You’re gonna want this arrest since Cap’n Noxi is at the Fair.”

“I thought Turnip was on duty?”

“Yeah, sarge, but he’s on duty at the Fair.”

Grimes rubbed his face and got up to put on his hat. “What’s happening?”

“They’re sayin’ there’s a naked musty on the run, sir.”

“Naked? Is that all?”

“Nah, sir, he wazzed on the MinoWar.”

“He what?”

“I mean the building, sir. Publick yooreenayshun.”

“Oh, right. Well, we can’t have that either. Come on, go shove Ned out of bed and we’ll get out there. Hop to it.”

Blobbs scowled. “That’s racist, sir.”

“Not if I war-dance. Shut up and move, Blobby. You lot can catch up. Follow the whistles.”

On his last day this side of Bully, Grimes rushed out to join the pursuit.
 
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