Stoatorian Guard Private Completed Maybe You Won't Die Alone

[Caden S. Freemont]

The new recruits were coming along well. Caden walked up and down the front line of drilling Guard cadets, keen gaze on their form and movements as they went through a basic set of sword and shield drills in pairs. He rested on paw on the hilt of the arming sword in his belt.

"Wendley, shift your footpaws further apart, leading with the right. Too close together and you'll be easier to knock back when--" The marten watched as the weasel cadet in question was indeed knocked back by a shield blow from his partner and fell to the ground. Wendley rubbed his tail as he stood. Caden moved beside him and showed the young weasel his footing mistake. "See how you crossed your left to your midline and destabilized yourself? Stepping out with your right gives you a stronger stance as you reach with your attack."

Once it seemed that Wendley had his footpaw work under control, Caden continued on down the line. It was warm on the drilling grounds, and it had been a long day. Caden could feel sweat dripping down the small of his back where his muscles were beginning to feel sore from his own drilling earlier in the day with the halberd. While he had fought with polearms before in a pinch, the Ministry insisted as part of his employment that he become proficient in their use. And so he had drilled with several others for a good portion of the morning and afternoon before his current task of checking on the progress of the cadets with their sword and shield training. He was very ready for a drink, and when the clock struck the end of the afternoon shift, the marten joined the cadets in breathing a sigh of relief before putting away training weapons.

"Good work today," he called out to the dozen or so young beasts as they left the drilling grounds. Then he quickly made his escape through the halls of the Ministry of War building, choosing a favorite secret passage that allowed him to bypass a good portion of the crowds and potential interactions with officers or anybeast else he did not particularly want to talk to. He emerged from a standing cupboard in a cleaning closet and, composing himself, stepped out into a side hall that fed into the wide entrance hall directly into the path of one Eirene Liu. They did not collide, though it was a near thing.

Caden laughed, pretending to wield a halberd at the older jill. "Pardon me. Apparently I wanted another round after you so thoroughly wiped the drill grounds with me today."

 

[Eirene Liu]

Eirene's eyes widened as the marten almost collided with her, and her paws started to go for a phantom dagger at her side before she recognized him and relaxed, laughing a bit shakily as her heart rate calmed. "Caden! If you want a rematch, you only need to say," she commented, putting a paw to her chest and leaning on the wall for support. "Pardon me, I no see'd you dere." She was about as sweaty as Caden was, still wet from wiping her face and head down with a wet cloth after changing out of her uniform.

She managed to catch her breath from the brief startle she'd taken, waving a paw to dismiss his comments. "I am lucky de fangtian ji - de painted sky halberd - is de weapon I train with from little age, so dese polearms no are very different. Maybe tomorrow I bring to show and tell," she suggested.

Her paws went to her civilian clothes, a neat double breasted coat over button-down shirt and plain white ruffles topped by a yellow jade broach. "You are going home, or maybe you go to get drink?" the black sable ferret inquired. "My, ah..." She glanced up and down the hall reflexively, making sure there wasn't anyone within earshot, before continuing. "My wife Bezine, she works late dese days, she is detective now. So, is no matter I am home quick to make dinner, she no will eat until morning. Maybe we talk, catch up."

 

[Caden S. Freemont]

Caden shut the door to the closet. "I was, in fact, about to go get myself a drink or two. It's been a day, and my daughter Asta is practicing with the orchestra this evening, then she said something about going out with beasts from the orchestra. So I'm free for the night." He ran a paw through his headfur. Given that it was still slightly sweat-damp, it did not lay back down neatly, instead standing in various directions.

"If my fur could go grey, she'd have given me plenty of grey by now. Can't stop worrying about her when she's out late. She's nearly an adult by age, really, but by Bully standards she's still so green." He chuckled. "So yes, drinks and talking sounds magnificent. Maybe you can give me advice on raising a teenager in a place like the Imperium. On the farm in Varangia it was so much simpler."

 

[Eirene Liu]

Eirene grimaced as she turned and started to walk with Caden in the direction of the exit. "I can tell you lots of advice," she noted, "but I no know if is helpful. My daughter Morgan, she is much trouble. She is in de navy now, on de Golden Hide, she and her friend Vihma go togetter. I no know when dey get back." Her expression turned haunted and hollow as she admitted, "I worry for dem, but I no can do anyting from here. I give her all de lessons I can, I only hope is enough. So, I know dat worry."

She glanced to Caden, inquiring, "Maybe you can tell me what is I should drink here. Since I leave'd Hanshima, I no drink often. I tink perhaps I will not keep up wit' you very fast."

 

[Caden S. Freemont]

Holding the door to the street open for Eirene, Caden shook his head. "I'm not a heavy drinker myself. One or two drinks every other night or so. When I was younger I could put them back, but it hits harder as you get older, as you likely know."

The pair made their way into the Trenches from the Ministry building. "That sounds nerve-wracking," Caden said. "Just waiting for her to return with no word of how she may be faring. But if the Hide is anything like the stories I have heard of her past exploits, Morgan will certainly have some tales to tell when she steps back to shore."

Winding their way through the late afternoon traffic, marten and ferret came to the entrance of The Frog's Gizzard. The tavern was beginning to fill with the early evening crowd, but Caden and Eirene were able to find an empty table for two in the back corner beside a window. Adjusting his sword in his belt as he sat, Caden tapped at the pommel in thought.

"If you're looking for something easy to start with, their house ale is quite good. That's often what I choose after a day like today where I just need something to help the muscles loosen up a bit."

 

[Eirene Liu]

Eirene nodded, accepting the recommendation, and when the waitress came by, she followed Caden's advice. Once their order was taken and they were alone again, she leaned in a bit, just enough so they could talk conversationally without risk of being overheard. "It is nice," she commented. "I no get to go out by myself much anymore. I spend so many years being a motter, is easy to forget I am me. That makes sense?" She gestured to Caden, adding, "I am sure you know. You have a daughter you are raising... and a partner as well?" This last one was ventured more tentatively. Caden hadn't talked too much about his personal life, but she sensed there was some sort of story there.

 

[Caden S. Freemont]

The marten rested his elbows on the table and examined the claws of his left paw for a moment as he pondered her question. "My partner would express similar sentiments when he was alive. He'd been raising Asta alone for several years before I became a part of their lives." He smiled sadly at Eirene. He felt he knew her well enough, and knew of her own complex past, to share more of the story.

"His name was Einar. He was a musician, a singer and lutist like Asta. He was murdered when parts of my past caught up to me. That's what brought Asta and I to the Imperium. After being betrayed by a friend in Varangia, this seemed the safest place to start anew. I at least have some protections and privilege here, given my lineage."

Caden lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "It's been close to a a year since it happened. The ache is still there, of course. Beasts will say that time heals, but thus far I've found it just changes how the hurt impacts you. Like the pain of the loss is there, but more gets woven around it as time goes on if you choose to rebuild a life after your previous one was shattered."

 

[Eirene Liu]

Eirene's gaze softened as Caden spoke of his ex-husband. She hadn't gone through the same loss, but she'd come close a few times- including when she and Bezine had nearly been executed together, and then when she'd nearly been forced to kill Bezine herself. There had been a dozen close calls over the years, and yet they'd made it through. That, she knew, made them the lucky ones. If more of the Verfolger had survived, would they have come for the pair of lovers to make good on the punishment that was deferred in Hanshima?

"Does having your daughter dere help?" she inquired quietly. "I mean, I can imagine she brings back memories of Einar, good and bad, by her presence." She hesitated before adding, "Sorry, I know dat question no is fair to her. I just... dere have been close calls for me and Bezine in de past, and sometimes I wonder how I would have handled being a single motter. It seems like a lot."

 

[Caden S. Freemont]

"No, it's okay, really. You're right--it is a lot, raising her alone." Caden rubbed at his cheek as he looked away, pondering Eirene's question. "Having her there does help. Yes, I see him in her every day: in her smile and laugh, her music, even in the way she argues with me."

He chuckled softly, shaking his head and bringing his gaze back to the jill. "Mostly at this point it is good what her presence does for me. She's given me purpose in all this. If I didn't have her, I think my desire for revenge against the beast who betrayed me would have taken me down a very different path." The marten seemed to consider saying more, but paused and opened a paw towards Eirene.

"But what of you and your wife? How did you meet and come to be together?"

 

[Eirene Liu]

Eirene smiled through Caden's recollection. His love for his late husband was clear, and the ferret found it inspiring. The comment about Asta even arguing like him produced a chuckle, both for the fondness for even the moments of disagreement they'd shared, and because she could sympathize with seeing a spouse's characteristics show up in their child. Even though she was adopted, Morgan had grown up with a lot of Bezine's stubborn argumentativeness, a trait that both exasperated Eirene and amused her as well.

She chuckled at Caden's question, and was about to speak when their drinks arrived. She waited until they were on the table and she'd had a sip before addressing his question. "We meet as enemies, actually," she explained. "I come here wit' de Verfolger for after de war, and she was here wit' de Misantropy. She had a mout' on her, dat one." She shook her head at the memory. "We become rivals, trying to kill each otter anywhere we meet, even in de street. Eventually I had leave to go back to my home in Hanshima, and when I get dere, I find Bezine in my village shrine, badly beaten. She had stolen Verfolger armor and tried to infiltrate our Varangia base, and had to jump off de mountaintop to escape.

"I no could kill her since my village tought she was one of us, a protector spirit," she explained. "De village healer put her in my care, so I had to live wit' her for months. Slowly we become friends, and we fall in love. When she get better, she had to leave, to go back to de Vulpinsula. We had a big fight about it," she admitted. "I was very upset. One of de warlords attack de village den; I fight dem off best I can, but was overrun. Bezine come back and help me dough; even dough is hopeless, we fight togetter, and in de end, we were ready to die togetter." She smiled, a touch melancholy as she remembered that day, how they'd been ready to face the sword together.

"We no did, of course. De otter Verfolger arrived and rescued us before we could be executed. Dey wanted me to prove my loyalty by killing Bezine, but I refuse. So, instead, I accepted dey exile me from my homeland as punishment. Was twenty years before I go'ed back to Hanshima. After dat, always was Bezine and I togetter, even when we were on opposite sides." She played with the ring on her pawfinger, the silver tarnished from decades of being worn. "We have our bad times and our fights too, especially about our daughter Morgan, but we keep choosing each other. Dat is what keeps us togetter."

 

[Caden S. Freemont]

Caden drank his ale, listening to Eirene's tale. He found himself moved by the sense of fate woven through the story of the two, enemies to lovers, and then nearly forced to become enemies once more, but their love and commitment to each other holding strong, a binding thread that held them together through the trials of a difficult, often tragic, life.

"'A life and love worthy of song,' Einar would say to such a tale," Caden said with a hint of wistfulness. He raised his half-full mug to the jill in an informal toast. "Morgan is lucky to have you, both you and Bezine. To have lived through such trials with each other, come out alive and still holding to your commitment to the other, tells of great tenacity and love through hardship. That's something so many of us hope to have with another in our lifetime. How did Morgan come to be in your lives?"

 

[Eirene Liu]

Eirene smiled at the memories, raising her own drink to meet the toast before taking a sip. She had to ponder the question a bit. "It was in Blackbone Isle," she recalled. "We were on our way to... Was dat Fyador or Alkamar? No, dat was from Alkamar to Fyador, I remember now. De ship stopped in Blackbone Isle to resupply, and Bezine and I stepped off to stretch our legs. Outside of a tavern, we see'd her. She was dis little slip of a girl wit' a sign dat said 'paw wrestling - ten coin bet'. She was losing most of dem, of course; even being a bit bigger dan most kits her age, she no could win against most adults. Bezine spotted de con, dough. De contest was drawing a crowd, and dere were pickpockets in de crowd stealing gold from dem, while what de contestants were winning were cheap fakes. Morgan was just de distraction."

She shook her head as she recalled what they'd gone through. "We had to barter wit' de con beast who was running de scam for her release. He no wanted to let her go, so we had to pay for her to leave. She no trusted us at first, so we tell her dat when we get to Fyador, she could go her own way. Well, we getted to Fyador, and she walked off de ship and into de city wit'out even a goodbye. I tinked dat she is gone for good, but Bezine said she would be back. Well, a week later, she turned up at our door, cold and hungry, and asked to come in. From den on, she stayed."

She looked a bit curiously at Caden as she inquired, "How you meeted your Einar? You say where was in Varangia, but no say de how or why."

 

[Caden S. Freemont]

Caden finished his drink. He looked down into the empty mug, pausing before he answered.

"The short version is that I was between jobs and at a tavern where he was a musician to make extra coin." Lifting his gaze to Eirene, he gave her a wry smile. "But this doesn't seem like a short answer sort of evening."

Lifting his paw to signal the waitress to bring him another drink, the marten continued.

"When I left the Imperium, I got into mercenary work on the Varangian continent with a friend, Sebastian, who had traveled with me. We worked for various companies together, learning the trade, honing our skills. I found I had the skillset for command, and so when I had saved enough money and gained enough experience, I started my own outfit with Sebastian as my second in command."

He leaned back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. "We made good money and a good, if somewhat infamous name for ourselves. I'm not proud of a lot of what I did in those days. I wouldn't say I'm ashamed, either." Caden lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "But we did make enemies. Eventually Sebastian and I parted ways over how a job was handled. It was...unpleasant, both how the job went and our parting. I decided to dismantle the company and start over, but I wanted some time to get my head back on straight.

"I traveled around for a few months until I landed in a small farming village with a military outpost. That's where I met Einar, at the inn where I was renting a room." His eyes shone behind his glasses. He stopped, suddenly overcome.

"Sorry," he said quietly. "Sometimes it still hits me, losing him the way I did."

He took a shuddering breath and pressed on. "I was smitten the moment I heard him perform. However, I was far rougher around the edges--and 'Gates, really all the way through--back then. It's a miracle he even gave me a minute, much less the hours we spent talking over the next few weeks. I knew I would marry him, and I was patient as he came around to the idea, too." Caden smiled.

"I decided to stay in the village and get a job training soldiers at the outpost. Those years with him were like a dream I thought I would never have been able to live, given what my life had been up until that point. I consider myself a lucky jack to have landed in that tavern."

 

[Eirene Liu]

Eirene smiled through the story, infected by Caden's happiness as he recalled those days. "In Hanshima, we say 'yǒuyì zāihuā huā bù fā, wúxīn chāliǔ liǔ chéngyīn'. It means 'you can plant a whole garden and the flowers do not grow, den put a stick in de mud and it grows into a willow tree'," she remarked. "Life rarely goes as planned, and de good tings often come when you no expect dem. Dat mercenary company was de garden dat no grow'd, but you find de willow tree in Einar."

 

[Caden S. Freemont]

Caden's gaze became distant as he nodded. "A willow tree, aye. Cut down well before its time. Though if we keep with the analogy, a willow re-sprouts from the severed stump, does it not?"

His drink arrived, and he lifted it to his muzzle, drinking deeply. When he set it back down, now halfway empty, he wiped the foam from his whiskers.

"What would you say in your life was the garden that wouldn't grow?"

 

[Eirene Liu]

Eirene's face fell a bit at the reminder of death. It was, admittedly, an analogy that only went so far. She latched onto the opportunity for a change in topic. "Is hard to say... De easy answer is 'De Verfolger' because I serve dem so long, den have to leave because of Bezine, but..." She considered before shaking her head. "Is really my village. I have many friends dere, and because I choose Bezine, I have to leave and never return. Even after de Verfolger collapsed, I never dare go to visit." She smiled a bit sadly as her eyes misted over. "I had good friends dere, Suyun and Meihua, and deir son Hongdu. I sometimes tink of dem, wonder how dey are. I hope dey are alright."

She looked to Caden a bit curiously, inquiring, "How long has been since Einar? If is okay to say."

 

[Caden S. Freemont]

Caden nodded with her recollection of her village and those she had left behind. "It's hard to let go of meaningful connections we have left behind. I'm sure they think of you as well."

To her question, he answered, "It's okay, I don't mind you asking. It's been just over a year." He used the thumb of his right paw to rub his left palm.

"Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. Asta still has nightmares about the whole ordeal. The ones who came for me killed him in front of her and then took her hostage, planning on using her as leverage against me." His gaze hardened behind his glasses. "She at least didn't see what I did to her captors when I found them, but she saw the aftermath. I almost got myself killed in that fight, and I had planned on continuing to seek out vengeance, knowing who was behind the attack and how they had found me, but I realized that if I died, I'd leave her with no one. 'Gates, even if I didn't die, what kind of father could I be to her if I spent months or years consumed by a mission to spill the blood of those who had harmed me and my family?"

Caden shook his head. "I've seen what vengeance does to a beast. The devastating effects are far-reaching and can last a lifetime. There's no telling how many others can be affected by actions taken in the heat of seeking out revenge."

 

[Eirene Liu]

Eirene was quiet for a moment before she softly asked, "Like what happened to Daniil's motter?" She put out a paw to reassure him quickly. "I mean, what it has done to Daniil. He changed his whole life to seek vengeance. Is clear he no is a good soldier," she noted, her tone slightly apologetic, despite him not being present. "Still he tries for foolish reasons. Maybe he needs to let go, like you did."

 

[Caden S. Freemont]

"Like what happened to Daniil's motter?"

Caden visibly flinched. He felt like somebeast had lanced him with a burning spear through his chest. Even her reassurance that followed the statement did nothing to calm his rapidly beating heart. His mouth went dry, and he took a long draught of his ale.

"I would not go so far to say that his reasons are foolish," he said, fighting to keep his voice level against the anxiety coursing through his body. "Losing a mother the way he did, especially at such a young age, can do something to a beast. He's sensitive and thoughtful, and he likely needed far more help than he received after she was killed."

He looked down into what was left of his drink. "I can empathize with that kind of loss. While my mother sacrificed herself willingly in the Winter War, her death set in motion a great many aspects that still impact who I am today."

 

[Eirene Liu]

Eirene smiled sadly, a bit sympathetically at Caden. She reached over the table to take his paw, giving his a small squeeze. "Maybe you should talk to him about it," she suggested. "He could use someone who has experienced dis kind of tragedy before. I do not tink he has ever talked about his emotions wit' anyone before. De Ryalors do not seem like de type to talk about feelings."