Stoatorian Guard Private Maybe You Won't Die Alone

[Asta Dalgaard]

"Coarseradish, ja." She nodded. "Pepparrot in Varangian. Caden likes, too. I bring seeds and plants, ja. Caden buys some for me, too. Imperium is warmer than home, er, than Varangia. I growing new things here. Like this."

Asta pointed to a tree just above knee height with lobed, broad leaves. "Merchant at market calling it a fig. Caden buys me dry figs so I can try. Very good, ah, sweet, ja. I wanted to grow them. A few years for figs to grow from this, very small now." She plucked a bright orange flower from a pot and offered it to Morgan. "You like this if you like pepparrot. Merchant calling it nasturtium, from warmer place, saying to eat leaves and flowers. Very good, like spice."

---

Caden bowed his head in respect to the jills. "Perhaps you're right. I suppose we'll see, won't we? Thank you for your efforts in this. It really does mean a lot to me." He opened his paws to the kitchen. "Until he arrives, is there anything I can do to help? I have some lifting restrictions on my shoulder, and honestly I should be wearing my sling, but I can get you oriented to the kitchen and do some light tasks at least if needed. Oh, and if you'd like any of the bread Asta baked, she said half of it was specifically for you two. It's her mother's recipe."

 

[Morgan Liu]

Morgan nodded, taking a delicate nibble of the flower, her eyes lighting up as the flavor hit her tongue. "That's really good," she commented, moving on to try a leaf. "Mmm. I think I like that even more," she remarked. "The leaf has even more heat to it. You planning to make this your own herb garden? I take it you do most of the cooking around here."

~~~

Both jills' eyes lit up at the mention of home-baked bread. "Ooh," Eirene enthused, "dat sounds wonderful! I promise we save half for you and Daniil."

"Yes," Bezine agreed, nodding vigorously. "We will only eat 'alf... maybe a little more." When her wife batted her arm, the weasel amended her statement. "I mean a little less."

There was the sound of a knock at the door, and the pair looked at each other in panic. "He is early," Eirene noted, rushing toward the kitchen. "We must cook!" She stuck her head back out of the door to the kitchen, looking to Caden and mouthing "Good luck" before ducking back in.

 

[Asta Dalgaard]

"Ja, I growing herbs and vegetables and fruit for us." Asta began plucking several leaves from a low-growing plant. "I cook most, though Caden not a bad cook. He is busy more with Guard and always be getting hurt with the fox Daniil. They see each other in Slups, they get hurt. They go on date, they go to hospital after for stab and broken shoulder. This city crazy. Hoping no getting hurt today."

She held up the leaves to Morgan and pointed to the jill's injured side. "This plant called lans in Varangian. Good for healing when you getting cut or stabbed. Chew up and put on wound, cover with bandage. How you getting hurt? If okay to ask."

---

Caden's ears flattened in surprise at the sound of the knock on the front door, and he swallowed down sudden anxiety rising from his chest. He managed a smile and half-hearted wave to Eirene before turning towards the entryway. Doing his best to smooth his headfur and nervously adjust the sash about his hips, he stood for several long moments in the foyer.

Briefly touching the older of the sheathed arming swords, he murmured, "Am I doing the right thing, Mum? What if I just hurt him even more?" Of course, the sword remained silent. Caden sighed. "Well, whatever the case, grant me some confidence from wherever you are."

He opened the front door, his smile warm and genuine for the fox on his doorstep. "Hi Daniil. It's so good to see you."

 

[Dusk Rainblade]

Morgan's eyes widened as Asta asked very directly about her wound. She lifted her shirt a bit, showing the patch on her side. "Well, I got shot with an arrow," she explained. "Wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't needed to swim under an entire galleon to escape the arrows. By the time I came up, the arrow had pierced my lung. They had to put a tube in my chest to keep me from drowning on my own blood. It was awful, though." She grimaced at the memory. "I couldn't breathe right for hours. Eventually they figured out a valve so it could drain and still let me take a breath, and that made everything a lot better. Up 'til then, though..." A shudder went through her. "I just wanted to die so it would be over with. The Hells themselves seemed less terrible than that."

She covered up the wound again, trying to make her tone lighter. "But hey, I survived. Yeah, I'm gonna be waking up from nightmares, gasping for air, for a long while, I'm sure, but at least I'm not alone. I've got beasts who care for me, who look out for me. Eventually, it'll all just be something in the past, a story that happened to somebeast else. I hope, anyway."

~~~

Daniil was nervously fiddling with the wax seal atop a bottle of what looked like a very expensive Varangian red wine. He was out of uniform, for once; instead he was wearing a handsome, fashionable navy blue coat over his button-up shirt and double-breasted black waistcoat, an outfit that he must have borrowed from his cousin, based on how out of place in it he looked. His eyes widened as he saw Caden open the door, and he was so nervous that he actually bowed. "Mr. Freemont! Er," he straightened up, his cheeks ablaze with embarrassment. "Caden. I, ah... Thank you for inviting me to dinner. I, er... After our last outing, I thought... Well." The blush settled into his cheeks. "I was very glad to receive your invitation." He awkwardly presented the bottle, explaining, "I don't know my wines, but Alwyn assures me it is good. With as much as he consumes, I trust him to know. ...Er, please don't take that as a disparagement of our commander." He looked as if he was praying for the earth to open up and swallow him whole.

 

[Asta Dalgaard]

Asta listened wide-eyed to Morgan's tale. "You being so brave!" She reached out to take Morgan's paw and squeeze it gently. "I wish my Vulpinsulan better to tell you what I want to say. I know nightmares, ja. From bad things happening before. It is hard to be living this way. I am happy you are safe and okay, but sad that you having bad dreams. Good to have beasts who care. I having nightmares, too, and Caden helping me feel safe."

She tapped at her chin for a moment, then darted away to pluck another plant from the garden and show the white flower umbel to Morgan. "This vänderot. Making tea from roots helps with making calm and sleep. I have some ready, can give to you if you want."

---

Caden felt his chest tighten with affection for Daniil as the ever-earnest todd presented the bottle. He took the wine and looked it over, nodding approvingly. "This is an excellent choice. Thank you so much for bringing it. And Daniil, we're not on duty. It's customary for those beneath command to disparage their commanders when off-duty. 'Gates, even on duty if you're sly about it. You should have heard some of the things that my mercenary company said about me over the years." He grinned and stepped aside, one paw open to the entryway of the condo. "Please, come in. I'm so glad you accepted my invitation. Believe you me, I was nervous sending it out and wasn't sure you'd accept. So there's both of us worrying about the judgement of the other."

As Daniil stepped in, Caden offered a paw. "Can I take your coat for you?"

 

[Morgan Liu]

Morgan's eyes widened at the offer, and hurriedly put her free paw out to decline. "Nah, that's sweet of you, but I'm good, really," she promised. "The crew's been great about cuddling me to sleep, especially Finny - he's this kit we found on board and took into the crew. Besides, it sounds like you need it more." Her smile turned bittersweet as she added, "You don't need to talk about what happened to you if you don't want, but if you ever want to talk about what you're going through, I'm a pretty good listener." She gave a small shrug as she added, "I'm not gonna play the game of 'who had it worse', but I'm sure we've both been in tough spots, and sometimes just talking can help."

~~~

Daniil blushed as Caden admitted to his nervousness as well. "You've saved my life twice now," he remarked, starting to shrug out of his coat to hand to Caden. "Honestly, I should be the one treating you to dinner in gratitude." His blush deepened, his voice going more quiet as he added, "Which makes it mean all the more to get the invitation." He hesitated before asking, "I take it that, for this evening at least, we aren't in the roles of comrades in arms?" There was a note of hopefulness in his voice tempered by fear of misstepping. He held the borrowed jacket by the collar, worrying it with his paws.

 

[Asta Dalgaard]

Absently twining the flower stalk into her headfur so it bobbed behind her ear, Asta nodded. "Talking is good, ja. I--it is hard talking about what happening, even though it happening more than a year in past now. It is why Caden and I here now, not in Varangia." She frowned and shook her head.

"It is why my father is dead. Maybe talking about it another time. Today not good, want to think about good things, ja, not sad things." She pointed to a bench near the center of the small garden space. "Wanting to sit? I could listen to good story from Navy. I like adventure stories. Making songs about adventures. Maybe I write song about you being brave!"

----

Caden gently took the jacket from the todd. "We are in whatever roles we wish to be in tonight." He kept his voice low and steady, reassuring. "Nobeast who is here would fault us for being who we are, nor would they look askance at any greater familiarity with each other we may wish to explore."

He hung the jacket beside the arming swords on the coat rack and turned back to Daniil, offering his left arm with a friendly smile and roguish quirk of his brow. "Perhaps I can walk you to the lounge and we can talk over some bread and wine while we wait for dinner to be prepared?"

 

[Morgan Liu]

Morgan grinned, lighting up at the opportunity to entertain. "Sounds good to me," she enthused, leading the way. She sprawled across one half of the bench, arm draped across the back. Eirene had often expressed annoyance with the laxness with which Morgan sat, perhaps amplified by Bezine having the same habit. "You sit like a male," Eirene frequently criticized, rapping Morgan's footpaw with whatever was available. For some reason that Morgan absolutely did not want to investigate further quite yet, that criticism filled her with a secret, guilty thrill.

"So," she recalled, "maybe I should tell you about how I almost got myself hung without even leaving the Harbor. Not the most heroic story, but certainly hilarious in hindsight."

~~~

Daniil's smile relaxed into a more easy, carefree expression. "That sounds delightful," he confirmed. He hesitated before reaching to his waist and carefully undoing the straps that held his mother's scabbarded blade to his side. "Do you mind setting this atop your piano?" he inquired. His eyes were watering slightly, the emotional weight of setting his most treasured keepsake aside, putting it in Caden's care, clear in his expression. He could hardly have expressed greater trust had he fallen blindfolded from a window into Caden's open arms.

 

[Asta Dalgaard]

Asta sat in a comfortable cross-legged position facing Morgan, folding her long legs neatly under her and wrapping her tail in front of her knees. She withdrew a small notebook and pencil from a hidden pocket in her dress and opened it to a blank page, scribbling something in the runic Varangian script. "Ja, could be funny song, too," she said, then looked up at Morgan, waiting with rapt attention.

---

After handling Vaelora's sword in the heat of the fight with the supremacists, Caden found himself more prepared to take hold of the weapon. Still, there was a moment of hesitation before his paw closed around the katana. He met Daniil's gaze, noting the todd's expression of unwavering trust. Caden tried to keep guilt from his expression as he gave a single nod.

"I don't mind at all." Sword in one paw, Daniil on the other arm, heart beginning to pound as he felt the cold fingers of doubt creeping into his chest, Caden led them to the lounge. Wine glasses sat upon the low table flanking a basket of warm, sliced bread. Various cheeses and jams were assorted neatly around the basket. After a quick squeeze of Daniil's arm, Caden released the todd to walk across the room and place the sword atop the upright piano which had been adorned with a vase of trailing pink flowers.

He moved back to the table and cleared his throat, gesturing to the various available seats. "There are the chairs, or if you'd like, we could sit beside each other on the couch." Caden chuckled, noting the position of wine glasses, plates, and appetizers. "I believe that's how Asta arranged it for us."

 

[Dusk Rainblade]

Morgan chuckled, her voice slightly rueful. "Well, see if you say that afterward. So," she recalled, "I signed up on the Golden Hide right before we went away on this big expedition. The Minister of Innovation himself came and took command for the expedition. Well, I wandered into a meeting in the captain's cabin because it seemed like everyone was going there, you know? And who turns up, but two friends of the family - Silvertongue and Greeneye!" She lowered her voice and added, "They're a couple, though that's not in the open, so shh. Anyway, they came in asking to sign up, and the Minister was hemming and hawing about it, so I thought I'd step up and put in a good word for them.

"Well, apparently, that was the wrong thing to do," she recalled, "because he got all kinds of pissy. He had me hauled outside, wanted to do a whole big show of disciplining me. Well, it didn't take much to figure out that he'd just been looking for an excuse to make an example of someone; we didn't know him from Mar'kan, and so this minister needed to establish himself as someone to be feared so we'd all obey him. So, he hauls me in front of the entire crew and demands that I apologize to him for speaking out of turn. Well, I've been standing there at attention for several minutes now, getting more and more steamed at the injustice of it all - and I let. Him. Have. It." There was a bit of a manic grin on her face that hinted at the tone and content of her response.

~~~

Daniil only needed a moment's consideration before going to the couch. "If you don't mind," he indicated, a small blush crossing his face, "I'd much prefer to sit with you. Besides," he noted, gesturing to the spread, "Asta has done such a beautiful job of arranging the table, it feels a crime to upset her display." It was a flimsy excuse, but one that allowed him to seat himself far more comfortably than he had the last time he visited.

 

[Asta Dalgaard]

Asta wrote as Morgan spoke. She made a small exclamation in Varangian when she heard of the Minister's behavior, and when the jill paused in her tale, Asta looked up, pencil hovering over the page. "I knowing what this song can be. This Minister being villain, you being hero. What saying you to him? How did you, ah, 'let him have it'?"

---

Despite the guilt, Caden found himself smiling at the handsome todd. He set the bottle of wine beside the bread basket. "A crime indeed. She has done a lovely job, hasn't she?" He took a seat beside Daniil, close enough so their legs brushed against each other, and he let his tail rest atop the fox's. Rolling up his sleeves, his right forearm still sporting a wrapped bandage from his stab wound, he reached for the corkscrew on the table and offered it to Daniil. "Would you like to do the honors?"

 

[Morgan Liu]

Morgan winced at Asta's enthusiasm. "Maybe hold off until you hear the whole story," she requested, her tone apologetic. "To be honest, I don't fully remember what all I said. I think I was in a bit of a fugue state. There was something in there about how I'd heard the navy was a place where beasts who didn't belong elsewhere could go and become part of something bigger, could dedicate their lives to a meaningful cause, and if that enthusiasm was so criminal, then he should wrap me in the flag when he killed me." She seemed to shrink into herself as she recalled, "It didn't go well. I got beaten for it pretty much immediately; that wasn't so bad to be honest, I can handle that. What happened next, though, I'm really not proud of."

She took a deep breath before she recalled, "My friend Vihma, she came running out of the crowd, begging them to have mercy on me. I wish she hadn't. Because she spoke up for me, they decided they'd punish her too. They had us both stripped down to just our undergarments and doused us in sea water, then sent us up to the crow's nest - that's the really high up place atop the mast, where there's lots of wind. We were both freezing, but we took our punishment. We were supposed to be up there for an hour." She shook her head. "I figure they must have cut it short, otherwise I wouldn't be alive. I tried to squeeze the water from Vihma's fur so she wouldn't freeze, then covered her body with mine to keep the wind off and help her keep her body heat. Even then, by the time they finally hauled us down, I'm told we were in a bad state. They had to spend the next two hours heating our bodies back up until we were functional again. I really don't remember much in the middle there; I remember getting really cold and tired, then the next thing I know, I was coming to in a warm bath. Well," she amended, "it felt scalding hot, but I'm told it was just lukewarm.

"Anyway, we had to put on a play after that to entertain the crew as part of our punishment, and then we finally got to talk to the minister himself. He admitted he'd punished me to make an example, but also that he'd done it because he needed to establish loyalty and a readiness to follow orders on this mission, or else we wouldn't survive." She chuckled a bit hoarsely as she recalled, "Honestly, we almost didn't. Several of us didn't anyway." Her tone was hollow, haunted, as she recalled the ones lost.

~~~

Daniil's eyes noticed the bandage, lingering briefly, before he accepted the corkscrew and the bottle. With some effort he carefully twisted the screw into the cork, then, bit by bit, began wiggling the cork free of the bottle. "I'm not very good at this," he admitted as he leveraged the bottle back and forth, moving the cork millimeter by millimeter. It finally popped free, and Daniil released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Okay," he remarked, "Not so bad." He poured out a glass for each of them, then raised his own glass to toast. "To our surviving every danger," he proposed.

 

[Asta Dalgaard]

Asta made a tutting sound with her tongue as she continued to write once Morgan was done. "Caden saying I not allowed to join the Navy. Now I seeing why. They are very, I don't know Vulpinsulan for it, vilde, like bad and violent. I not liking that kind of thing." She shuddered. "I glad you surviving that. Maybe this song telling the story you wanting to tell from what happened, ja? Can be anything. We can make Minister into villain, you into hero who treated bad by him and his crew. We can make song funny, sad, happy, anything. It how, ah, what is word, sägen, um, legend I think is word--it is how legend happening. Songs having power that way."

---

Caden raised his glass, tapping it against Daniil's. "To our surviving every danger, and thriving in spite of all we've been through." He sipped at the wine, holding it in his mouth to savor it before swallowing. "Mm, it's been quite a while since I had a good Varangian vintage. It's hard to find here. This is excellent; it takes me back to some very happy times."

With a nod down to Daniil's leg, he asked, "Speaking of surviving danger, how is your leg healing up? Seems like you're getting along fairly well."

 

[Morgan Liu]

Morgan hesitated, weighing the options of narrative. "I don't think the minister was a villain," she said slowly. "Anyway, he wound up getting hurt worse than nearly any of us in the end, so it wouldn't really feel right to villainize him. And I certainly wasn't being the hero. I was being idealistic, yeah, but in a self-serving kinda way. I..." She furrowed her brow before admitting, "I think the real hero was Vihma. She came to rescue me, again and again. She put her life on the line for me repeatedly; she saved my life in the water, hauling me aboard when I was drowning; and, in the battle afterward, when I was lying wounded in the infirmary, when the whole crew was on the beach fighting for their lives, she went to the front line and fought for them, and for me, to survive. She's the one who was the real hero."

~~~

Daniil took a sip of the wine, enjoying its fruity taste. His favorite wines were always the fruity kind; there was even a rice winery in Westisle that infused their bottles with peaches, making a truly delicious, and highly intoxicating, sweet wine. I'll have to get a bottle of that to share with Caden sometime, he mused. At Caden's question, he glanced down to his leg. "Better," he admitted. "It's still a bit stiff, but the doctors stitched and bandaged it well. What about your arm?" he inquired. "I hope it's not hurting too much." It felt strange, how casual asking after their wounds was becoming, as if they hadn't nearly died several times in the span of their relationship, or whatever it was that they had between them.

 

[Asta Dalgaard]

Asta paused in her writing and tapped the pencil to her lips as she looked into the middle distance, thinking hard. She muttered in Varangian, then her eyes lit up. "I know! A song of friendship and adventure. Your story and Vihma's. I needing to hear Vihma's story, too. You meet her in Navy or she friend before?"

---

"I'm glad it's healing up well," Caden said. He turned his right forearm and carefully clenched and unclenched his paw. "My mobility and grip strength are coming back, though the doctors say it will be some time before I have full use of it again due to the damage to the tendons and ligaments. I'm back to some weapon's drilling with it, and can hold my shield again--if for a shorter amount of time. Keeping the deep puncture from infection has been easier than I thought, but Asta has been very helpful with that with her salves and tinctures."

He lifted his right paw to his left shoulder, slowly rotating the limb, careful to keep his wine glass level. "The shoulder, though, has been harder to manage, it being my dominant arm. I can at least do sword work with it again, but it's sore every morning." Laughing, he took another sip of wine. "And I swear it hurts more right before a rainstorm. Who knew I'd be one of those old beasts with a rheumatic joint that tells me the weather?"

Setting down his wine glass, he reached for the food on the table, beginning to make himself a plate. Fragrant smells from the kitchen were wafting into the lounge, setting his stomach to growling. With the warming effect of the wine and the gentle contact of Daniil beside him, Caden was beginning to relax. It was nice to sit with somebeast like this. Yes, he and Asta shared the physical affection of father and daughter, but it was very different to be in the company of the fox who Caden found himself increasingly attracted to in the various ways a beast can be attracted to another. Tempered as he was by the complications of his relationship to Daniil, and by his intuition that the todd was very inexperienced, Caden could not fault himself a small thrill as they both reached for the same jam and his fingers brushed against the back of the fox's paw. He smiled and acquiesced, pulling his paw back.

"Please, you go first. It's lingonsylt, a specialty from the region of Varangia we're from. Asta brought the dried berries with her, and some plants, too, though they're still quite small and not producing yet."