Furotazzis Open The Slups A Direction Worth Selling

[Grubbage Searoot]

The bang of Grubbage’s paw on the countertop cut through the room like a gavel made of old bones and worse temper.

“I ain’t havin’ insurance pay f’er that, Jankweed!” he snapped, teeth bared in a snarl that could’ve curdled varnish. “If this’s gonna turn into a brawl, take it out’n the mud like ye’ animals belong!”

 

[Griblo Jankweed]

Griblo was shaking, outraged. The sheer injustice of it all.

But truth be told, there was something deep in his gut that wanted nothing to do with a badger in bloodwrath. The way Emilio had slammed that compass... if he decided the next target was Griblo's ribcage, there wouldn’t be anything left to fence but teeth and a tail.

And sure, yeah, he had a soft spot for ol’ Grubbage. As much as he exploited the poor sod, he didn’t exactly want to watch the rat’s life’s work reduced to splinters. But mostly? He didn’t want his own guts wiped off the glassware.

He sniffed hard, then wiped his nose on his sleeve, dragging his dirty forearm across his muzzle with a grimace.

“N...no need, Grub…” he muttered, voice cracking ever so slightly. “We’ll handle d’is like gennelbeasts. Like we is.”

He turned stiffly toward the crowd, mostly the badger, and puffed out his chest with mock authority.

“I’ll accept twenty gilders compensation. An’ the Fogeys don’t get involved. Fair’s fair, yeah?”

He crossed his arms with a sniff and tried to look noble, though his tail had curled tight between his legs.

 

[Aramaeus Lemon]

Hearing that the auctioneer intended to press charges was to Aramaeus's extreme satisfaction - up until the moment he realized that he didn't actually have any pawcuffs. His eyes started scanning the shelves, looking for any that might happen to be for sale. He'd finally spotted a pair hanging from a hook up in the corner - padded with pink fluff, of course - when the drunken badger made a coded threat relating to his bloodrage. The prodigal bureaucrat paused, reconsidering the idea of taking the offender into custody. After all, prosecutorial discretion was the better part of legal valor, and he could hardly start a glorious career off this arrest if he wound up in a casket before the offender entered a cell.

Fortunately the damaged party seemed to agree with this sensibility, offering to settle out of court. Aramaeus wilted a bit, his own tail tucked between his legs. It seemed he wouldn't be getting any arrests off this, but he'd at least survive to report on the suspicious dealings in this locale. "I see," he noted, trying to control the quaver in his voice. "Well, if you are appropriately compensated, then we will consider this matter settled, shall we?"

 

[Ivo Suresight]

After seeing as his improvised solution worked, Ivo now had just one thing to do. Making sure the beast of justice goes away. Leaving this place and perchance, learning something about them. The bid was off, his money was safe. Now he just had to get this man away from this place and potential harm they can do. Especially as Ivo wasn't yet sure if the badger and ferret were done with their shenanigans and last thing he wished to do was to be questioned for witnessing a brawl.

"Officer, speakin' of compensation, ya sound more knowledgable about laws than most of me colleagues. If I could take ya fer 'moment to discuss a legal matter, I would be obliged." He tried carefully as he pulled out a small map of the local area. And one that was extremely precise, especially for Slups.

 

[Emilio]

Emilio threw his paws up to shoulder level and showed their rough and scratched pads, innocently 'putting his paws up' through the owner's angry speech. Fair enough then, the shop wasn't any place to be fighting in, especially when none of them had actually bought anything. While he could comfortably look down at the ferret and assume that he'd get the better of him paw-to-paw, the both of them were armed, and if he wanted to fight without a weapon while the other had a different idea, neither his gut nor his padded shirt would save his belly from being cut open; to say nothing of whose side anyone else would jump to. Or the Fogeys.

"Arrite, arrite." The badger lowered one paw and put the other to rubbing his chin. "We ain't nothin' if not gentle beests. Now," He reached down for the purse at his waist, looking inside. "I'm not swimmin' in Gilders here, friend... Big fella like me has to eat. A whole lot. And I gotta keep a sep'rate fund for gettin' back down to the M-S-C if this Bully stuff don't work out." It was pleasing that the bad shoulder bloodwrath BS had worked enough to deescalate a bit, but blowing twenty gilders on absolutely nothing still didn't sit right. "...I mean, y'got any idea how much I gotta spend on food? If y'think mice eat a bunch, ought ta see a badger. Heh heh heh!" He smacked his midsection for emphasis, before realizing that he wasn't doing a very good job of fixing the situation at all. "Uhm- I'd be glad t'pay you twenny. ...If y'could help me find some work 'round here? So I can make 'em back... I'm a beast've talents. Lot of 'em. All I ask's yer sage advice, mister..."

 

[Aramaeus Lemon]

Aramaeus sighed in relief as the terms of recompense were more or less accepted. He came over to Ivo's side to examine the map, glancing up at the badger's hemming and hawing. "I can direct you to the nearest Fogey precinct, with a letter of recommendation," he noted. "I can then file a writ of garnishment against your wages in favor of the aggrieved, signed by both parties. Most likely the garnishment shall be for the sum of two gilders weekly, carried on for the course of a year - the other eighty-four gilders going to interest and court fees." He didn't add that the court would take its gilders first. Griblo would see his gilders, plus interest - eventually.

He returned his attention to the map, inquiring, "Now, what was this matter?"

 

[Griblo Jankweed]

Griblo’s mood flipped like a coin in a crooked tavern game. Gone was the fury, the foot-stomping, the threats of stone-pressing justice. In its place, a broad, greasy grin and a suddenly chipper tone.

“Bwa-hahaharr! ’Ey, Grub! This beast ain’t ’alf bad!” he crowed, stepping up beside the hulking badger and throwing one wiry arm around his middle. The image was absurd. Griblo barely reached Emilio’s ribs, but that didn’t stop him from giving the badger a hearty slap on the side like they were old trench mates.

“Tell ye’ wot, mate. If’n it’s a job yer after...I got connec-shins. I’m bettin’ I kin 'elp get ye’ a job, help pay me off!”

His eyes sparkled with self-satisfaction... until the yellow-furred fox piped up. Griblo turned slowly toward Aramaeus, his expression shifting to slack-jawed confusion like he had just been read a dense legal document.

“An’ do it all o’fish’al-like?” he repeated dumbly, brow furrowed. He looked back toward Grubbage with genuine uncertainty, voice suddenly conspiratorial. “Grubby... d’is a bad thing, or...? Don’t wanna see me new mate taken advantage of now!”

His grip tightened around Emilio, like he was shielding a precious investment from predators.

 

[Grubbage Searoot]

Grubbage let out a long, ragged sigh. One paw rose to rub at his eyes, as though he could smudge the absurdity of the situation out of existence. He’d always been a beast who prided himself on honest dealings, and even without the law breathing down his neck, he still played the game straight. But this? This was why he never trusted Fogeys. This right here. Association with the Furotazzis had its cost, but at least they had the decency to do business face-to-face, not wrap it up in paperwork and officialese while gutting you blind.

He exhaled once more through his nose and turned to the golden-furred fox, his voice even, his eyes flinty. “That won’t be necessary.”

He pointed one claw at Emilio.

“I’ll handle the exchange like a pawned item. You...get over here an’ fill out some documents. I’m chargin’ ye twenty-four gilders. Twenty fer Griblo, four as a service charge.”

Then, without breaking eye contact,

“And I’m takin’ yer helmet as collateral. You pay yer fee, you get yer hat back. Deal?”

He held up a paw already holding a pawn form and quill.

 

[Ivo Suresight]

"lets take a short walk outside. It'll be easier to getcha aware of the case when I'll show it t' ya. It's about a dangerous building." Ivo asked while already padding outside. Truth to be told, he was just eager to leave the scene and take the problematic officer with him. But in doing so, he could potentially also learn something. If Golden Justice here knew actually how did the law work, Ivo would love to learn properly if buildings deemed dangerous gave him right to expulsion. That would open a lot of doors for him by simply giving him leverage. He took one last look over the rat in charge, giving him a nod that could be seen as simple goodbye, but it was more of an confirmation that his job here is done. The matter of the money was not his to be resolved, and while he didn't learn as much as he wanted, at least he wasn't losing on anything.

 

[Emilio]

A big smile returned to Emilio's face as Griblo put an arm around him and gave him a friendly smack. Like drinking buddies! It didn't even matter if he was selling phony relics, maybe they could just get along after all. And he could get himself a job- unless- Mr. Golden Justice suggested he work for the Fogeys? With a letter and all? "Golly. Y'really think I got what it takes?" He didn't think he had any garniture to lose, but eighty four was a lot more than twenty, he knew that much...

He felt Griblo's grasp tighten as he spoke up, apparently on his behalf, and so the badger wrapped an arm of his own around the ferret, squeezing him right back in a constricting demonstration of goodwill and friendship. He'd quickly let go, however, as the shop owner ushered him over.

Emilio gulped when faced with the script and quill. He squinted his eyes at the form in question, a dull "Uhhhhhhhh..." droning from his throat as he quietly sounded out the first word, one letter at a time. He weren't no scribe even sober! "...What's'is say? Read it aloud for me?"

 

[Aramaeus Lemon]

Aramaeus felt a twinge of disappointment as the offer of public redress was turned down in favor of private settlement. Well, he supposed, even the best barristers often had clients who settled out of court before a case could be brought. A small hiccup in his career to be sure, but not a disabling one. "Very well," he agreed, turning his attention to Ivo. "I will gladly provide my expertise to a fellow public citizen."

Drat, I meant to say 'public servant'. Remain calm, don't show that it was a gaffe.

The golden fox cleared his throat, remembering his offer. He turned a bit awkwardly to address the room, trying to figure out what to do with his paws. Did he put them in his coat pockets? Leaving them loose at his sides felt unseemly, indecisive. Cross them in front of his stomach? No, that seemed defensive, signaling weakness. He planted his feet and, putting his paws behind his back, clasped them, his elbows sticking out awkwardly at his sides like grilled pigeon wings. "I will return following this diversion to settle all matters here," he declared, hating how phlegmatic his voice sounded. He cleared his throat, which only seemed to gather more mucus to his trachea. "If you are still here at such time," he addressed the badger, "I shall draft a letter of recommendation to the Fogey Police Force, signed in my own paw, and sealed with my signature. You should be able to, based upon my recommendation, obtain gainful employment as a civil servant, with which you may ameliorate your debt." Perhaps Aramaeus would get a referral bonus out of it. Did the Fogeys give referral bonuses? Aramaeus had made several offers to recommend others for positions in Justice, yet somehow he'd never gotten one, despite many vixens at bars vigorously nodding their heads and saying that it was so generous and they absolutely would be applying right away, they just needed to run to the outhouse quickly. Aramaeus presumed that they'd gone straight from the outhouse to apply for the positions, since they never returned even to collect the recommendation letters he'd laboriously written on his own monogrammed handkerchiefs.

 

[Griblo Jankweed]

Griblo wheezed as Emilio’s massive arm wrapped around him in a show of drunken camaraderie. His spine gave an audible pop. He tried to squirm, but couldn't. The way his paw flailed for support, though, made it clear this was not his ideal negotiation posture.

“Errr... it sez that ye give ol’ Grub yer hat,” he managed, voice strained through flattened lungs, “’den after ye’ pay ’im twenny-four gilders, ye’ll get it back. Jus’ scrawl yer name, now.”

He gave the paperwork a little tap with his claw, then squinted suspiciously past Emilio at the golden-yellow fox, still lurking in the background with that awkward smile.

“C’mon mate,” he muttered, “yer gonna go be a fogey? Tssh. Waste of a brute like you, if’n ye ask me.”

 

[Emilio]

The badger turned his head to look through the shop's window and out to the rainy streets beyond, observing almost longingly as the rain collected in droplets on the glass and in puddles atop the dirt and stone outside. Was he really going to be a Fogey? Probably not. "Ehhhh... I bet they want sumbody with a better edgercayshun anyways. Weh heh heh. Surry, todd. I ain't sure civil servitude is for me."

Taking hold of the quill, his paw hovered above the place he was meant to sign. Yet, still, he hesitated, muttering his reservations. "But... what if I need my hat for my work, eh?" He raised a single claw as if to propose a single point. "Back down south, I spent a season quarryin' out rocks for the fort at Lark's Hill, and the smartest workers would wear helmets so's their noggins stayed safe." He knocked on the brim of his helmet for emphasis, before giving a nostalgic sigh. Shame the pay was so meager back there. He didn't figure he would be working a mine or quarry in Bully Harbor, but... the idea of a "brute's" work in which a helmet could come in handy did cross his mind, all the same. "Why don't y'just take my good word? I'm an honest beest. Never been taught to lie." He lied. "Ain't like I'm gonna run away from, uhhh, Grill-bo, if he's gettin' me a job. Eh?"

 

[Ivo Suresight]

Ivo finally left the building and navigated swiftly to the small square on the nearby junction of streets. He padded confidently, only making sure that Amadeus had followed him. Once the two tods got to the empty space, Ivo stopped and gestured around while holding his map of the surrounding area. "Here, ya can drop yer act. I don't mind having to talk with one of 'em justice members. But I hate me dishonest folk. Ya ain't cut for ground work, I'll tell ye that." The red fox spoke in friendly tone, he tried to not antagonise this beast. Not only he didn't want to have someone like him on his tail, Ivo also wished to talk him over to potentially have one more snout in the Ministry. This one seemed to be rather... malleable.

"Honest advice aside, am a city planner. One of like three of those anyways. Slups have, fer t' most part, almost no regulations at all. Whateva' they've, ain't usable. I can get 'em zoning and planning done, but if I were to, less say..." He pulled up the map and used his claw to mark out a quadrant of about twenty four buildings, "...change this area for othar purpouse like sum warehouses, t' little laws am aware of woulda make it so t' city could sell this land next day and send demolition crews in. But If I were t; do the opposite, stop the area from bein' ravaged by sum greedy fatcats, is there any law yer aware of that could help? Zonin' won't do, no beast in Slups care fer that anyways." He finished with a leisure look over the other foxes fur. Gold yellow was rare, just like his firery red. The two were for sure standing out like sore claws.

 

[Griblo Jankweed]

Griblo, still practically dangling under the weight of Emilio’s burly arm, gave the badger a side glance and a grin like a crooked coin.

“Aw c’mon, Grubby! Ye’ can’t take ’is hat away if’n ’e needs it!” he pleaded, tone dripping with empathy but also real opportunism. “Wot if it’s sentimental or summat? Maybe it’s a family heirloom! Heh!”

He gave Emilio a hearty pat, still grinning.

“Ye can trust ol’... eh…” His eyes squinted up at the badger’s face, realization dawning with visible effort. “...was’yer name anysways?”

 

[Grubbage Searoot]

Grubbage shook his head slowly, like a beast who’d seen too many fools and was starting to see another one bloom right in front of him.

“Lissen…” he started, rubbing the back of his neck. “’Dose two foxes out there? Da red one’s a Furotazzi. ’De yella’ one? A Fogey. I give up me hard-earned coin fer what de red one’s doin’ fer ye’ right now.”

He cast a glance toward Emilio, measuring him, not unkindly, but certainly without blind trust.

“An’ as much as ye’re suddenly best pals wit’ Griblo, that don’t mean I kin trust ye on word alone.”

He leaned forward on the counter, voice lowering a touch.

“Can ye part ways wit’ anythin’ else ye’d want back, jus’ so we seal th’ deal proper?” A short pause. “This ain’t a charity, now.”

 

[Aramaeus Lemon]

Aramaeus examined the map, tracing over the chaotic lines of the Slups. He made a small, thoughtful "Hmm" noise as he considered the problem laid out before him. "As you mentioned, most of the laws tilt in favor of the municipal government. There's any number of laws that could be invoked to claim the land - eminent domain, condemnation of unsafe structures, forfeiture of criminal assets, even a royal writ of seizure. Technically speaking, though she rarely ever uses the power, the Empress can, by decree, seize all the land owned by any named individual.

"The laws in favor of protecting ownership are far fewer," he continued. "Technically speaking, a legal challenge can be mounted to any pending seizure, which would send the matter before a judge. Any competent barrister can keep the matter tied up in procedural motions for months, even years. Typically this ends in settlement via a sale offer to the government - so, playing for money. However," he added, "any ministry can step in and claim compelling interest in a property to prevent its destruction. The Ministry of War has been seen to do this a few times - likely as a favor to relatives of officers." Intriguingly, he'd seen a few times that MAUL had claimed interest in a property, though those filings were always heavily redacted. Aramaeus suspected that they were protecting safe houses for their agents, though of course he'd never say that out loud.

"It's a long shot," he allowed, "but you could get one of them to claim interest in the property. Sometimes Commerce has been known to intervene citing 'economic harms' if they have reason to believe the action will present unacceptable damage to the Imperial economy. Niceties has also occasionally intervened, claiming that certain properties are 'historic landmarks' and must be preserved as tokens of Imperial culture. Good luck getting the Slups that designation, though."

 

[Ivo Suresight]

Listening intently to this fox was... tiring to say the least. Ivo was rather used to listening various beasts. It wasn't exactly the matter of their manner of speech even. Legal matters were just really tiresome for son of mother Anarchy. Still, Ivo got the answer he was after. There were two ways to counteract ones with money and influence. Either through ministry or lengthy process of legal path. The idea of starting even the whole courtroom theatre wasn't aligning well with Ivo. But, the other one? It was worth the shot.

"I see... Tell me. Yer seemin' t' be a shinin' paragon of justice. Golden fur and ideals alike. Yer a fogey, one good at 'er job..." He took a moment to think, his previous thoughtfullness slowly turning into a pleasant, charming grin, with a slow wag of his tail, he continued to explain, pointing his claw in the direction of the nearest courtroom.

"Am in need of sum help. I'd be glad if ya were t' provide me with quick interventions. There's lots of places and cases, where rich'uns and influential do whatever they wanna. And ye prolly had seen jus how corrupt sum of yer collegues are." Ivo took a step back, extending his paw to Aramaeus. "I can't do me work propah' when I've t' redo plans each time one of 'em moneybags tries to stop me. Help me t' deal with those. I can assure ya that would be a lot of solved injustices fer yer conscience and carrier alike."

 

[Aramaeus Lemon]

Aramaeus considered the offer, weighing it carefully. Unfortunately it was the sort of request that was far above his station; he had no decision-making authority in such matters, and it would be a conflict of interest for him to be acting as a legal representative in opposition to the government he served. However...

"First, I am technically not a Fogey Police Officer," he clarified. "I am an employee of the Ministry of Justice, yes, albeit one without the authority to make the designations you seek. However," he stressed, "I understand your perspective all too well. I grew up around these parts - in an orphanage just two blocks that direction." He pointed northward. "I know very well that the system as it stands can be opaque and inaccessible. While I cannot intervene in any official or unofficial capacity," he allowed, "I can do this: I can draft up various forms and motions which, when completed by yourself, can be quickly filed at court as an impediment to the seizure of your clients' property. I'll also include forms for filing in forma pauperis, that is, begging waiver of certain fees due to indigency, since your clients would no doubt find the fees burdensome. They will need to provide certain information about their income under oath," he clarified, "but it will at least buy them time while a campaign for ministry intervention can be mounted. Would that suffice?"

 

[Emilio]

"'S Emil." So said Emil, raising the feather and his paw up to his chest, smearing a tiny bit of ink over his gambeson. He seemed content to leave them with the shortening of his name, looking to Grubbage and yawning rather impolitely as he sized him up. "Mmmnnnh. Arrite... I get it. It's 'specially hard to trust an out-of-towner." He waved the quill a bit in some sort of vague paw gesture, punctuating his speech. "What if I give you half now? I think I'm carrying twelve. I can just skip a few breakfasts." He dreaded the thought, but swallowed his reservations (in place of the slices of buttered raisin toast and bowls of cheese porridge he would be missing out on), planning to follow through if the rat would believe him.

"Hey, 'sides, that'd cover the, uhh..." He paused, trying to remember the exact terminology used seconds earlier. "Service... fee. And the rest is Grillbo's, so if he don't mind that, I don't see what issue there could be." Recalling how Griblo had just given him a pat, he gently pinched the area behind one of the ferret's ears, as affectionately as if he were handling a prized gull.