Information The Imperial Calendar

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The Imperium Calendar​

Like other solar calendars, the Imperial Standard follows a twelve-month model, most months having from 28 to 31 days. Unlike most solar calendars, however, the exact length of each month depends very much on the Empress's mood. If Her Worship feels, for instance, that a certain month is dragging on, or is becoming unprofitable, or unlucky, or just plain boring or if she gets wind of a plot to take his life on the 29st day, she is free to cut the month short and add the difference to the end of some subsequent month. Frimary, however, is always 28 days short at most, unless the Emperor declares it a "Jump Year", in which case the days would number 29.

The months are as follows:​

1. Primary - The First Month
2. Frimary - The Freezing Month
3. Smarch - The Third Month, said to "Come in like a walrus and out like a ham."
4. Soggus - The Rainy, Damp, and Muddy Month
5. Merry - The Fifth month, the fifth day of which is celebrated as the "Festival of Sorrows"
6. Bugs - The Month of Mosquitoes and Other Pestilences.
7. Thermidor - The Hot Month
8. Humidor - The Thick and Sweaty Month
9. Milarkus - Named for the first Emperor, Milarkus the Malcontent
10. Macabre - The Disturbing Month
11. Notempre - The Cold Month
12. Dismembre - The Month of Violence, during which we celebrate Giftsgiving and Beating Day.

OOC wise, the above months correspond 1-1 with January-December.

History of the Imperium Calendar
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Though the Emperor's power to lengthen and shorten months has always been an irksome bother to the more alert citizens, (it is not unknown to lose a birthday or two) the custom is so very antique, we suggest you accept it without question! Almost all seem content to forget the reason the Olde Kalendar Systym had been revised (i.e. Burned and Swore Off, Ceremoniously) in the first place was a horrid abuse of this very privilege' by one of the Inept Emperors, Commotion the Cultureless, who assumed his now famous crimes would be forgotten if and after he accelerated 12 months' time in less than a fortnight. He instead found his subjects just as angry twelve days laterŠ Arguably more so, as they had been cheated out of their Giftsgiving Holydays and seasonal Wassail Parties.

A violent civil war ensued, and because the Emperor -who was the first and only causality- kept the only copy of the calendar in his then-removed head, all track of Time was lost. Indeed, after everything had been sorted out, Giftsgiving was being observed in the summer, Bush and all. Rather than accept this odd twist of fate, the new Emperor asked the Ministry of Innovation to undertake, at no small expense, a reinvention of the Kalendar. The actual process took no less then three years from start to finish, during which there were absolutely no holydays, weekends, birthday parties, or tax collections. Archeologists are often interested to find headstones from that period, many of which follow this model: "Sir Fredyrck C. Stonemug, Belovyd Kobbler. Dyed in Year 1119 as of Year 1122."

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Holidays ​